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"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
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"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
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"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
May 20, 2004
O My Beloved People, How I Hate You
Ahmed Chalabi's headquarters -- the ones just raided by the US -- were in what was formerly the private Baghdad "hunting club" of Saddam's son Udai. Glen Rangwala visited the headquarters last September on a visit to Iraq, and reports it was "bizarre": "waiters bringing you free cocktails under (Udai's) elaborate chandeliers, whilst an INC goon tells you about how stupid Arabs are."
Of course. If there's one thing you can count on in this world, it's that anyone who constantly declares they love their country actually despises their countrymen. So of course Chalabi hires people who have contempt for Arabs.
Likewise, Ann Coulter just loves America, yet sees American airline security guards as "hostile, lumpen mesomorphs". Now, a good portion of the people she hates so much are probably in the National Guard, and have been called up to serve in Iraq. Maybe her fellow citizens have to leave the US before Ann starts liking them.
Likewise, Bibi Netanyahu's wife Sara loves Israel, yet hates Israelis. As she explained when the Likud chose Sharon over Bibi, "Bibi is a leader who is greater than this entire country, he really is a leader on a national scale. We'll move abroad. This country can burn." Hopefully Netanyahu will use "Israel: This Country Can Burn" as the slogan for his next campaign.
Likewise, Yasser Arafat loves Palestine, yet feels Palestinians are "an ungrateful people." That must be why his henchmen have to steal so much money from them.
Likewise... well, I'm too tired to go on.
But certainly here in the US, only those of us who hate America seem to like other Americans. Whenever someone cuts me off in traffic, they always have a "United We Stand" bumper sticker.
Posted at May 20, 2004 04:54 PM | TrackBackHere at International Brotherhood of Hostile Lumpen Mesomorphs HQ, we think our reputation for giving Coulter's luggage the full treatment is very helpful during membership drives. It's nothing personal, mind you.
Posted by: Harry at May 22, 2004 12:53 AMHarry,
Do you let ectomorphs and endomorphs join your union? What about hypermorphs and hypomorphs?
Also, I should have mentioned that I admire Ann Coulter's vocabulary. It's not every day someone refers to "lumpen mesomorphs."
Let me tell, that's some good writin'. Some good, hate-filled writin'.
Posted by: Jonathan Schwarz at May 24, 2004 09:39 PMWe're big tent people. All we ask for is a strongly felt need to destroy obnoxious people's belongings, preferably while they're watching helplessly. On the job training always makes up for lack of bulk.
La Coulter is, in my opinion, an amateur at hate. One needs to have experienced prison torture to bring out the real stuff.
Posted by: Harry at May 27, 2004 04:11 AMremarkable issues here. I¡¯m very satisfied to see your post. Thanks a lot and i'm having a look ahead to touch you. Will you kindly drop me a e-mail?
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