Why Doesn't The Media Mention The Positive Parts Of Torture?

Nothing demonstrates the relentlessly liberal, anti-American views of the media like its treatment of torture. I'll admit up front that, yes, some parts of torture are negative. But why does the media focus only on the negative parts? What about the positive, upbeat parts of torture? To give a balanced, objective portrait of torture you need to show both sides. Not to do so is like reporting on serial killing and only mentioning its bad aspects.

For instance:

1. Many people have heard about Maher Arar, a Canadian citizen who was picked up at JFK Airport in New York and shipped to Syria to be tortured. But how many people know that he was flown, bound and shackled, on a "midsize private jet with luxurious leather seats"? Many people would love to fly around the world on a private jet! Yet all of a sudden the US is supposed to be the bad guy!

Also, Arar lost 40 pounds while being held in a cell the size of a coffin. When he was released, he could fit into jeans he hadn't worn since high school! Now he'll probably make a mint writing a book on losing weight via this extremely effective diet. And we're supposed to feel SORRY for him! Only in America, my friends.

2. Dogs are lovable. And there are many dogs who need a good home. So what's wrong with the US Army giving them one? Yes, many will spend their days snapping at the genitals of naked Iraqi prisoners. But I guess you'd rather see little puppies thrown out into the street to fend for themselves. I ask you -- where are the animal rights activists on this issue? Their hypocrisy sticks to high heaven.

3. If there's one thing we can all agree on, it's that the world needs someone who dances like Michael Jackson. Ideally this would be Jackson himself, but what if he goes to jail for child molestation? Where will we be then? Thus, it makes perfect sense for British troops to take turns "kickboxing [Iraqis] against the wall and ordering them to 'dance like Michael Jackson.'" The British are merely encouraging the Iraqis to practice in case Jackson goes to prison and there's a worldwide shortage of Jackson-dancers. If it happens, the Iraqis can pick up the slack. Of course, don't look for the British to get any credit from the Britons who hate Briton and British kickboxing.

4. Many of the Iraqis beaten to death may have, before they were arrested, wanted to commit suicide but just didn't have the courage. Perhaps all the US did was give them a helping hand.