Like High School With Nuclear Weapons?

Show business is often described as high school with money, and from what I've seen of it, that's exactly right. Similarly, I sometimes think politics is like high school with nuclear weapons, although I go back and forth on it. It may not be fair to people in high school, since they're generally far more intelligent and mature than the people who run this planet.

I mentioned before that almost all political leaders need to be surrounded by sycophants delivering non-stop ass-kissery. For instance, check out Alexander Haig's 1981 talking points for a meeting with President Reagan (as previously mentioned here). Here's Haig, pulling down Reagan's pants and puckering up (the underlining and ALL CAPS are in the original):

IT IS CLEAR THAT YOUR POLICIES OF FIRMNESS TOWARD THE SOVIETS HAS RESTORED SAUDI AND EGYPTIAN CONFIDENCE IN THE LEADERSHIP OF THE U.S. BOTH WENT MUCH FURTHER THAN EVER BEFORE IN OFFERING TO BE SUPPORTIVE... [SAUDI PRINCE FAHD WAS] VERY ENTHUSIASTIC TOWARD YOUR POLICIES... THE LARGER MESSAGE EMERGING FROM THESE EXCHANGES IS THAT YOUR POLICIES ARE CORRECT AND ARE ALREADY ELICITING THE ENTHUSIASTIC SUPPORT OF IMPORTANT LEADERS ABROAD.

Almost as good is the delight Haig takes in informing Reagan that Anwar Sadat kept Ed Muskie -- a former Secretary of State under Carter -- waiting so Sadat could keep talking with Haig's deputy Robert McFarland:

SADAT KEPT ED MUSKIE WAITING FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF WHILE HE EXTENDED THE MEETING.

And then, and then, I heard Anwar is totally going to dump Muskie and ask you to Sadie Hawkins!

McFarland, of course, later was Reagan's National Security Advisor and became well known for his prominent role in Iran-contra -- as well as his half-assed suicide attempt just before he was supposed to testify to Congress about it.

American society has already benefitted from the song "Teenage Suicide: Don't Do It." Perhaps we need a song called "National Security Council Suicide: Don't Do It."