W.W. IV: The West Vs. Islamo-Fascism; W.W. V: Weisberg Vs. Morgan-Mar?

Lately this website has developed an unhealthy focus on non-amusing reality. So let's escape from that for a moment and fantasize about fantasy worlds.

My friend Rob Weisberg is alarmingly funny, and one of his specialties is jokes about Star Wars. Generally he likes to reimagine certain scenes, like this:

1. Actual scene from The Empire Strikes Back

VADER: If you only knew the power of the dark side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.

LUKE: He told me enough! He told me you killed him.

VADER: No. I am your father.

Now, the same scene as reimagined by Rob:

VADER: If you only knew the power of the dark side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.

LUKE: He told me enough! He told me you killed him.

Long pause.

VADER: Oh... he did tell you.

Pause. The panel on Vader's chest beeps and starts emitting a sheet of paper.

VADER: Hold on, I'm getting a fax.

2. Actual scene from Return of the Jedi

LUKE: Search your feelings, father. You can't do this. I feel the conflict within you. Let go of your hate.

VADER: It is too late for me, son. The Emperor will show you the true nature of the Force. He is your master now.

As reimagined by Rob:

LUKE: Search your feelings, father. You can't do this. I feel the conflict within you. Let go of your hate.

VADER: It is too late for me, son. I'm fully vested in the Empire's pension plan. If I were to leave now, it would be a financial catastrophe.

So for a long time I believed Rob was the unquestioned king of this genre of humor. However, my sister has notified Rob has a challenger, named David Morgan-Mar. I still believe Rob will remain on top, but this is undeniably funny.