• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
•
"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
•
"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
October 20, 2004
God Really Needs To Think These Things Through
This Modern World mentions this from a CNN story about Pat Robertson:
The founder of the U.S. Christian Coalition said Tuesday he told President George W. Bush before the invasion of Iraq that he should prepare Americans for the likelihood of casualties, but the president told him, "We're not going to have any casualties."
But This Modern World doesn't quote this part of the CNN report:
"I mean, the Lord told me it was going to be A, a disaster, and B, messy," Robertson said. "I warned [Bush] about casualties."
I don't get it. First: why did God only deliver this warning about Iraq to one person, Pat Robertson? Couldn't He have gone on CNN Himself and told everybody? Instead, 90% of humanity had to figure it out for themselves. And second: even if for some reason He only could tell one guy, wouldn't it have made more sense for Him to tell George Bush directly, rather than telling Robertson and counting on him to pass it on?
Moreover, God's getting a little repetitious in His old age. I mean, isn't "(B) messy" implied in "(A) disaster"? There are very few tidy disasters.
Posted at October 20, 2004 09:53 AM | TrackBackBefore too many people go and blame God for all this... Just a reminder: You can still buy "God is NOT a Republican... or a Democrat" bumper stickers from Sojourners magazine. Just hit www.sojo.net
(And remember my personal motto: Don't blame Christ for all the asshole Christians.)
Pax,
Matthew
Matthew,
Thanks for mentioning Sojourners. I second your endorsement.
Posted by: Jonathan Schwarz at October 20, 2004 12:41 PMMaybe God didn't tell Georgie because, frankly, He can't stand going near the guy, let alone whispering into his ear.
Even the Almighty can get grossed out.
Posted by: James J. Dominguez at October 20, 2004 04:39 PMI like Matthews comment too! I was just going to say that God told me before the illegal invasion that it was going to be nasty too. And I tryed to tell people that about it but they all said I was crazy and didn't know anything. Guess I shouldn't have listened to Hans Blix, Scott Ritter, every history teacher I had, common sense, or God. But then again they WERE all right!! (hehe)
Posted by: Terrible at October 20, 2004 06:47 PMDear God, please save me from all those who believe in you.
Posted by: floopmeister at October 20, 2004 08:47 PMJon, you might as well blame god (note lack of capital letter) for not telling pharoah directly.
Posted by: Alexis at October 21, 2004 11:23 AMNope. I just can't leave it alone.
Why is it, whenever this kind of story comes up, is god a republican or a democrat, the most obvious point is never made.
God isn't a republican or a democrat. God just isn't. God is totally lacking in the "is" department. Worse, the "was" and "will be" bureaus are pretty bankrupt, also.
Posted by: Alexis at October 21, 2004 11:26 AMAlexis,
You know, I was going to take the time to consider your perspective. Fortunately, since you're a foreigner we know it's irrelevant and quite possibly traitorous.
Posted by: Jonathan Schwarz at October 24, 2004 11:27 AM