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"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
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"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
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"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
September 16, 2005
Now More Than Ever, It's Critical That We Learn Nothing From History
Mike Gerber likes to refer to the History Channel as the Learn Nothing From History Channel. This is one of my favorite jokes ever made by anyone.
In honor of this joke, I would like to point something out. Everyone is familiar with this famous section of the October, 2004 article by Ron Suskind:
In the summer of 2002, after I had written an article in Esquire that the White House didn't like about Bush's former communications director, Karen Hughes, I had a meeting with a senior adviser to Bush. He expressed the White House's displeasure, and then he told me something that at the time I didn't fully comprehend -- but which I now believe gets to the very heart of the Bush presidency.The aide said that guys like me were ''in what we call the reality-based community,'' which he defined as people who ''believe that solutions emerge from your judicious study of discernible reality.'' I nodded and murmured something about enlightenment principles and empiricism. He cut me off. ''That's not the way the world really works anymore,'' he continued. ''We're an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality..."
Now, here's part of George Kennan's 1946 description of the Soviet Union in his famous "Long Telegram":
[The Soviet Union] is seemingly inaccessible to considerations of reality in its basic reactions. For it, the vast fund of objective fact about human society is not, as with us, the measure against which outlook is constantly being tested and re-formed, but a grab bag from which individual items are selected arbitrarily and tendenciously to bolster an outlook already preconceived... Problem of how to cope with this force is undoubtedly greatest task our diplomacy has ever faced and probably greatest it will ever have to face.
Hmm.
Remember the Long Telegram is one of the best-known documents ever in US foreign policy, and part of the assigned reading in any college class on post-World War II history. So you'd expect a senior adviser in any administration would realize the peculiar resonance of what he/she was saying about "reality."
However, you'd expect wrong! That's because these days senior White House advisers don't have the time to do old-fashioned things like reading. They're too busy watching the Learn Nothing From History Channel.
Posted at September 16, 2005 05:49 AM | TrackBackReality Hates Our Freedoms!
Posted by: clete at September 16, 2005 07:19 AMAgreed. THAT IS WHY WE MUST IMMEDIATELY DESTROY REALITY.
Posted by: Jonathan Schwarz at September 16, 2005 07:50 AM"They're too busy watching the Learn Nothing From History Channel." I doubt they risk even that. Shhh! "Matlock" is on.
I never thought that Bushian conservatism and Postmodernism could find such a unique synergy.
Posted by: Agi T. Prop at September 16, 2005 12:29 PMThe "Learn Nothing from History Channel", huh?
I have debated with myself for many years whether I would prefer to repopulate the earth with millions of clones of Mike Gerber, or to use Jon-clones instead. Hm, the LNFH channel pushes it a little closer to the Gerber side.
However, Mike is married, and you are not, Jon. Report to my secret lab in Korea immediately.
Posted by: Aaron at September 16, 2005 02:54 PM"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."--Philip K. Dick.
Reality has delivered a relatively mild lesson to us. Let's hope we can recover from the Bush administration before the next one comes along.
Posted by: alex at September 16, 2005 03:18 PMWait--is this HungryClits.com? I clicked on a link for "mature poon" and I got this post about George Kennan. I asked for "The Long Telegram" at my local adult video store, and they looked at me like I was crazy.
I'm so confused.
Posted by: Mike at September 16, 2005 04:33 PMNot so much on the reality theme, but on the History Channel sucking theme, I actually wrote a parody of History Channel programming on my blog. I recently re-read it, and it struck me as pretty funny.
This is the link:
http://leetyler.blogspot.com/2005/02/new-history-channel-programming.html
For anyone intersted Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez is supposed to be on Nightline tonight (Friday). Hugo vs. Ted Koppel - could be interesting.
Posted by: ow at September 16, 2005 07:37 PM