or Powell's or me• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
•
"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
•
"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
October 24, 2005
Ten Things We Will Soon Learn About Patrick Fitzgerald
1. He Murdered Vincent Foster
2. Is Son Of A Liberal Elite Doorman
3. Claims He Spent Christmas, 1983 In Cambridge; Actually Was In Somerville
4. Casey Sheehan Would Be Ashamed Of Him
5. Is Irish, Not That We're Implying There's Anything Sinister About His Frequent Blackouts
6. Fathered John McCain's Illegitimate Black Child
7. Charles Krauthammer Thinks He's Crazy, And Krauthammer Is A Psychiatrist
8. Let's Not Forget That The Vatican—The Center Of His Religion—Is The Great Whore Spoken Of In Revelation 17
9. A Friend Of Mine Knows The Cousin Of The Neighbor Of Someone Who Worked With Him In 1986 Who Says the Coffee Machine In The Office Cost 50 Cents But Sometimes You Would Put In A Quarter And It Would Start Working Which Meant it Had Eaten The Quarter Of The Person Ahead of You And Once They Saw Fitzgerald Get Coffee Like This Which Meant He Essentially Stole A Quarter From Someone In The Office, Which Really Brings Up The Character Issue
(thanks to Rob)
UPDATE: I guess this would be #11:
"He's a vile, detestable, moralistic person with no heart and no conscience who believes he's been tapped by God to do very important things," one White House ally said, referring to special counsel Patrick Fitzgerald.Posted at October 24, 2005 12:53 PM | TrackBack
"He's a vile, detestable, moralistic person with no heart and no conscience who believes he's been tapped by God to do very important things," one White House ally said, referring to special counsel Patrick Fitzgerald.
wow, talk about projection.
Posted by: willie at October 24, 2005 03:44 PMOne of those things is not like the other - vile, all right - no heart and no conscience, check - detestable, OK - moralistic? How does that go with vile?
Inconceivable....
Posted by: Anna in Cairo at October 25, 2005 01:07 AM"He's a vile, detestable, moralistic person with no heart and no conscience who believes he's been tapped by God to do very important things,"
Wow, that sounds like a great description of Bush. I mean, there's the whole 'god talks to me' thing that the president is on record as saying...
Posted by: Karl Roverer at October 25, 2005 10:45 AMI've been wondering who killed Vince Foster.
Posted by: Adam Kotsko at October 25, 2005 11:01 AMgreat, great job. I love "Is Son Of A Liberal Elite Doorman."
Posted by: Matt at October 25, 2005 11:19 AMProbably sold our most cherished secrets to China too...
Posted by: abb1 at October 25, 2005 01:52 PMThe lazy winger just says "He's a sorry excuse for a human being".
Posted by: Bill Arnold at October 25, 2005 06:41 PMHiccup
Who you callin' Irish?
Hiccup
1,2,3,5,6,10 stellar. Others close to stellar, perhaps just airborn.
Posted by: progprog at October 25, 2005 10:26 PMIs there any political connections this man has? How about political campaign contributions? So far I have found none!
Posted by: Phil at November 2, 2005 11:57 PM
