or Powell's or me• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
•
"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
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"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
February 21, 2006
A Big Step Forward For This Website
Since the birth of this blaeeeeeergh, there's been a serious problem with the people commenting here: you've been uniformly intelligent, well-informed and funny. This indicated the site was not getting the wide exposure God surely intends for it.
But now there's good news! This comment here by "joe citizen" indicates A Tiny Revolution is moving full speed ahead into the internet mainstream:
Who give a flying rats ass. That's the media for you. Not a government "conspiracy". Since when could this government keep the idoit press from printing any NEGATIVE information?!!?
So they had sandbags on their heads...waaaa. They'll get over it. They're still alive, and if you have your way, they'll be back on the streets tomorrow. In a war, I consider that no harm, no foul. War is a messy thing. NO war is perfectly carried out. Some our own soldiers die from "friendly fire".
As far as foreign policy, it's not that it fails...it's that we're so hamstrung by the left that this administration can't carry out a promise without some bleeding heart crying about the smallest things.
I'm all for getting the hell out of the middle east as long as this administration would make a promise, and all the bleeding hearts would agree to the promise:
"We leave them alone, but the next time something happens like 9/11...we answer with a nuclear strike. No questions, no oh this or oh that...one IED here, one nuke there." I don't even care what the target is. They could start in Tehran for all I care. They'll either quit or be wiped out. And to me, it's fine either way.
I don't want this thing dragging on for years and years. I don't want my kids and my grandkids fighting this stupid war.
I wish the U.S. were as bad as every other nation claims. We're not going to "win their hearts", and I could care less if we did. We should be kicking the crap out of them no holds barred, and let THEM be scared about what WE'RE going to do to them if they don't straighten up.
Screw all you ass kissers on here. Hug the world, and all you'll get is a black eye in the press, and a punch in the gut from those you're trying to help.
They hate us, and I say hate 'em back.
Hear, hear.
Posted at February 21, 2006 10:07 AM | TrackBack...wow.
Scared and angry is a ba-a-ad combination. A bitter drug...
Posted by: Darryl Pearce at February 21, 2006 11:01 AMWell, congradulations Mr. Schwarz on reaching a wider audience.
Kill everyone, eh? I kinda admire that. It's so... apple pie. Too bad blind hatred and vicious cycles tend to ruin my appetite.
Posted by: at February 21, 2006 11:11 AMUm, Jonathan, I'm not sure I'd characterize a "response" like this as "a big step forward." I mean, I get that it indicates the potential for a wider readership and all, but who needs more of this sort of Cro-Magnon bile? I'm just sayin'.
Posted by: shane at February 21, 2006 11:16 AMWell, Joe Citizen's anonymity is par for the psycho-troll course -- much easier to advocate mass murder and general terror without exposing who you really are. But then, the cat's comments are so cliched that I'm tempted to think he's a parody. Either way, congrats Jon! When you start getting Rachel Corrie-is-a-pizza blasts you'll have finally arrived.
Posted by: Dennis Perrin at February 21, 2006 11:27 AMAhhh, there's nothing like uninspired, ill-informed jingoism. It's just so rife with irony.
"They hate us, and I say hate 'em back."
Plus, I am rubber and you are glue, anything you say bounces off me and sticks to you.
Plus, our dictator can beat up your dictator.
Plus,neener, neener, neener.
(however, I kind of liked the newly-coined word, "idoit")
Posted by: blondie at February 21, 2006 11:28 AM
God love ya and welcome to America!
An' remember:
God is Love.
Love is Sex.
God is Sex.
Or something like that.
Posted by: donescobar at February 21, 2006 11:41 AMWow. It is so refreshing to hear what the average man is saying these days. Sometimes I think that I need to put down my mocha-grande-latte-with soy and get off my elitist high horse which is located in the tallest of ivory towers and get out there and really listen to Joe Six-Pack.
The problem is that opinions like this are just so hard to find here in WICHITA KANSAS.
That is a valid html tag isnt it? I shall fetch the boy and ask him.
Posted by: Jake Lowen at February 21, 2006 12:19 PMHa! Apparently putting the word sarcasm in html brackets IS valid html code. I shall not have to fetch the boy after all.
But those words not look any more sarcasmy.
Posted by: Jake Lowen at February 21, 2006 12:21 PMHe showed you.
Posted by: BRG at February 21, 2006 02:06 PMSorry to go off like that, Jon (and everybody). I don't know where all that shit came from. I gotta get back on my meds; I feel like such an idoit.
Posted by: Mike G at February 21, 2006 02:10 PMCongrats John. You've grown your own personal troll!! Let's see if you have gotten permanent tracking status, or this is just a quick effort to try to neutralize one or two previous key efforts. You need a troll comment tracker that tallies troll interest. You can use it to show off your uberwonk status.
Posted by: patience at February 21, 2006 03:31 PMHe mistook the site for little green pingpongbong balls, or something like that.
Posted by: Jesus B. Ochoa at February 21, 2006 03:47 PMOh my God. I'm so jealous! How does it feel, knowing your little blog is being read by the WHITE HOUSE?!
Posted by: Leslie at February 21, 2006 04:14 PMWhy would someone of that intellectual persuasion even bother coming to this niche blog? It's not a huge catch-all political lefty site like Eschaton or DailyKos, it's just people who appreciate a particular little brand of satire and humor. While I think the post was funny, it's probably best not to give those sorts of people any attention, because then it just encourages them and will probably get them to bring all their little friends.
Posted by: Gordon B. at February 21, 2006 04:15 PMDo not be taken in by this "joe citizen", who masquerades as a red-blooded American patriot. He is not. He is a spy, who wishes to goad Tiny and Tiny Readers, with his exaggerated display of trollery, into foolish, mocking displays of Angry Left America-hating, which play into the hands of our enemies.
He is worse than a spy, he is French! He gives himself away with his unconscious Frenchification, "idoit." He probably pronounces it "ee-dwah", with their typical, effete shrinking away from good, hard American consonants.
Posted by: Maud at February 21, 2006 04:53 PMLeslie's right. You've hit the big time. Let us know when the TSA is onto you.
Posted by: spiiderweb at February 21, 2006 06:56 PMYes, yes, this latest correspondence certainly indicates an expansion into the bl*gosphere. I have to admit I appreciated a certain crude sense of the karmic in the writer's effort. And the ironic touch - misspelling "idiot" recalled the right wing protestor with the sign "Morans" who became the darling of the Democratic Underground.
Posted by: Maezeppa at February 21, 2006 09:25 PMWow. I am the 19th comment to this post. How often do you get 19 comments, Jon?
I think there's probably a thesis out there for someone who is prepared to study why ignorance breeds loquaciousness.
Posted by: AlexisS at February 22, 2006 08:50 AMEveryone wants to exercise their skill set and think of it as good, Alexis. joecitizen has been given the ability to cheerlead for violent stupidity. He cultivated his gift and is rightly proud. Of course he wants to show it to others!
He was diffident and coy, once upon a time, and a little embarrassed, the way you and I might be ashamed of a bad habit. But he and his friends have worked hard. They had support from people who understand their special needs and are willing to build the infrastructure to support them. In the future, they hope to make it dangerous NOT to be ignorant, for everyone, everywhere. True safety and a sense of community is to be found at the bottom of a cess pool.
He couldn't get a job as a CIA enema bandit, but he has a keyboard and fights the war as best he can.
Posted by: J. Alva Scruggs at February 22, 2006 01:44 PMJames,
It takes so much work to sustain the Null-O way, and the way itself would seem to rule out any cooperation, that I can't help blushing a little on their behalf. Negating the very thing that enables us to survive, yet somehow managing to maintain an existence, is a real triumph. When they run out of others, they'll start to work on each other. We won't be there, but I imagine it will be quite the party.
Posted by: J. Alva Scruggs at February 22, 2006 08:31 PMPerhaps Joe Citizen is simply suggesting a way to achieve President Bush's goal of reducing our dependency on unreliable oil-rich countries. The best way to make sure we have to switch to petroleum alternatives is to nuke the Middle East and instantly make their oil fields completely unusable for generations.
The genocidal vengeance part is just an emotional bonus and a way to make sure we do this the "tough" Republican way instead of admitting that Jimmy Carter was right 30 years ago about investing in alternative energy.
Posted by: Whistler Blue at February 23, 2006 11:53 AM
