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"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
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"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
March 02, 2006
I'm Appalled By The Corruption Within The Mayor McCheese Administration
Did you know that part of the Bill of Particulars in the articles of impeachment passed against Nixon had to do with McDonald's Quarterpounder Cheeseburgers? I sure didn't:
21. Bribery, Fraud. Solicited and obtained for the reelection campaign of President Nixon, in June, July and August, 1972, from Ray A. Kroc, Chairman of the Board of McDonald's, Inc., contributions of $200,000, in exchange for permission from the Price Commission, first denied on May 21, 1972, then granted on September 8, 1972, to raise the price of the McDonald's quarterpounder cheeseburger, in violation of article II, section 4 of the Constitution and Section 201, 372, 872 and 1505 of the Criminal Code.
As Mike says, it's like there's a conspiracy to make people think history's boring.
Posted at March 2, 2006 01:54 PM | TrackBackBoring? Boring?! Are you kidding? That's fabulous! That's delightful! I wish I had time to look up "article II, section 4 of the Constitution and Section 201, 372, 872 and 1505 of the Criminal Code" so I could figure out wtf they have to do with the price of a quarterpounder cheeseburger!!! There's gotta be a wacky story there.
Really, it almost seems like it might have been a good thing for Nixon to do, if it led to a decrease in demand.
Posted by: Saheli at March 2, 2006 03:22 PMBoring? Boring?! Are you kidding? That's fabulous!
No, no, I agree. The conspiracy involves not telling Americans about the Watergate/quarterpounder nexis. If they knew they wouldn't fall asleep in 5th period history.
Posted by: Jonathan Schwarz at March 2, 2006 03:25 PMMarvelous! So that's where the bread came from behind his widow's huge overall - 70 million or so, give or take - gifts to the peace institute at Notre Dame that she founded?!
Posted by: Jesus B. Ochoa at March 2, 2006 03:58 PMJesus,
I was thinking that myself. Still, as blood money goes, that's about as benign as it gets.
Posted by: Jonathan Schwarz at March 2, 2006 04:39 PMAnd it has done some good. When ND awarded that fool Bush an honorary doctorate shortly after his election, I was really beside myself, having survived priestly discipline - including studying under the blankets with a flashlight after lights out - before I fled in '56 after having ignored the granting of the degrees while hanging out at Joer's drinking martinis with some like minded buds -
and the good people over at the peace institute were leading the charge against this totally unmerited and unjustified grant of an undeserved honor. Bless Mrs. Kroc.
Posted by: Jesus B. Ochoa at March 2, 2006 05:33 PM