or Powell's or me• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
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"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
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"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
March 03, 2006
As Tolstoy Said, All Violent Morons Are Alike
What irks me about humanity's violent morons isn't just their violence and moroness. It's that they're all so UNCREATIVE. As far as I can tell, they haven't come up with a new idea since 15,000 B.C.
And worst of all, they aren't aware of this. So whenever they trundle out the latest manifestation of their thimble-brained hate, they're sure they've come up with a stunningly witty new jape.
For instance: a while back an Iraqi group calling itself the Jihadist Martyrs Brigade bombed the Baghdad office of the satellite network Al Arabiya. According to the New York Times, they also sent out dispatches saying "that [Al Arabiya's] name, which means 'the Arab,' should be changed to 'the Hebrew.'"
Haw haw haw! Can you believe it? They came up with concept of associating their "enemies" WITHIN THEIR COUNTRY with their "enemies" OUTSIDE THEIR COUNTRY!
That's never been done before in human history! Except for the 17 billion times it HAS been done!
Meanwhile on "our" "side," an English website calling itself "Drinking from Home" has boldly laid its own claim to membership in the International Brotherhood of Cretins:
That's really my quarrel with these people. It's not just that they're going to kill us all; it's that they're going to do it with the intellectual panache of a retarded baboon.
Posted at March 3, 2006 10:53 AM | TrackBackAh, to be killed softly by her many kisses, rather than like that young revolutionary fool I had for a client back in the exhuberant 60s, who, in the process of flinging a small molotov cocktail - all while driving his car- at a downtown store which was known for paying its hirelings little more than the minimum and other abuses, forgot to lower the passenger's side window, and succeeded in blowing himself up a bit. Serious burns, an amputated finger or two, and an understanding prosecutor who agreed to two years probation. Lucky lad, lack of panache and all - or maybe a surfeit of panache?
Posted by: Jesus B. Ochoa at March 3, 2006 03:02 PMthis reminds me(as many things do) of a family guy bit
Brian: did you stay up all night writing that joke?
Peter: oh no, turned in at around 2 AM
A raise a glass of my Friday night wine to you!
Sadly and with a sense of ironic tragedy... but, nevertheless: salude.
Posted by: Darryl Pearce at March 3, 2006 09:47 PMMorons win because they practice so much.
Perhaps its not so much practice as they don't have as much to memorize, you know? if they've only got one move, ie "[Person I don't like] is a [foreign entity i don't like]!!!" Haw haw haw! Indeedy!", then they can nail it down a lot sooner. That and they have to remember how to spell "appeasement". Pretty easy if you think about it.
Posted by: garth at March 7, 2006 12:29 PM
