or Powell's or me• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
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"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
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"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
March 08, 2006
This Joke Never Gets Old
Here's Rumsfeld yesterday:
Nearly 56 years ago, in 1950, the Truman administration issued what would become a framework for America's Cold War strategy for four decades. In a formerly classified document called NSC 68, the Truman administration said, quote, "Our fundamental purpose is more likely to be defeated from lack of will to maintain it than from any mistakes we may make or assault we may undergo because of asserting that will," unquote. Today our nation is again in a long struggle. And again, the toughest challenge will be to maintain our national will to persevere and to prevail.
As I've said before, it's always a good sign when politicians start talking about the importance of national "will." If, as Rumsfeld says, we persevere and prevail, well, what I can say? It would be a real triumph.
Maybe a talented female director could even make a black and white documentary about this triumph. The tricky part would be coming up with the right title.
Posted at March 8, 2006 03:41 PM | TrackBackMay I suggest "The Will to Triumph"? Or "The Triumphant Will"? Or "Victory through Willpower"? Or "Winning through Willpower"? Or "Never Say Die, Say Kill, Kill, Kill"? or "The Victory of the Will"? or "The Triumph of Willpower"?
All good titles, I think.
Posted by: mistah charley, ph.d. at March 8, 2006 04:03 PMDon't ya love it when they feel the need to quote Democrats? I've noticed a propensity to allude to Dems in the past.
Posted by: spiiderweb at March 8, 2006 06:02 PMA clear case of penis envy from Rummy. In this case, of course, the penis is not called Little Soldier but Little Boy. Truman displayed his little boy on Aug. 1945 by incinerating 150,000 people.
Rummy gets wet dreams just thinking about it.
He is not wrong, implementation-wise, the Nazis proved him right.
Posted by: Sweet Clyde at March 8, 2006 08:22 PMYou'd think these guys would get smarter after 50 years of failure. Same goals. Same philosophy. Same results.
Posted by: patience at March 8, 2006 11:35 PMWhy's it need to have a female director for crying out loud? Can't a guy do as fine? ;D
Posted by: En Ming Hee at March 9, 2006 04:15 AMWhere there's a will, there's a won't.
Posted by: donescobar at March 9, 2006 07:10 AMHas anyone seen "The Wonderful, Horrible Life Of Leni Riefenstahl"? Great movie if anyone wants to give up on human life.
Not so good for popcorn.
Posted by: Sully at March 9, 2006 08:00 AMFrom the POR Songbook, provided to us by Dr. Tiomoid of Angle, JD, MBA:
"Not just because she's Hitler's pal,
Leni Riefensthal's our gal!
Leni! Leni! Leni!
Leni Riefensthal's our gal!"
No word yet on the qualities of assonance and scansion which may or may not be present - I haven't bothered to look up those terms yet.
Posted by: Aaron Datesman at March 9, 2006 08:53 AMAs long as Rummie is rummaging thru early Cold War documents, I wish he'd read up on George Kennan's memos outlining the policy of containment. Kennan was no dove, but he understood that military power alone can't win a strategic victory in a major global struggle of ideologies. You need the military to prevent your opponent from military expansion, and to protect your allies, but it is America's economic strength, diplomatic credibility and democratic ideals that win the victory over the long haul... if, that is, you don't destroy all of these by relying on the military as your only tool.
Posted by: Whistler Blue at March 9, 2006 11:54 AMIt all depends on whose will is the National Will. I'm a National, but?
Posted by: Mike Meyer at March 9, 2006 12:17 PMThey never learn because it's not a set of beliefs informed by facts and observation--it's a set of compulsions created by God knows what. You don't become Rummy unless you live in a nightmare fantasy world of "ze Vill!" (Sorry, I just saw Young Frankstein.")
As to documentary titles, I suggest "Grisly Man."
[to the tune of Ol' Man River]
Our pal Rummy, 'n' that gal Leni
They don't know nothin', they must learn somethin'
They're damn annoyin, so I have written this song...
...take it, somebody!
Posted by: Mike of Rugoren at March 9, 2006 12:59 PMTriumph of the Spirit?
With Dr. Rice, dressed in a French maid's outfit with thigh-high black stiletto-heeled boots, clutching a bottle of Southern Comfort: president Bush sitting atop a vat of Straight American Whiskey Gold (once brewed in Juarez across the creek from El Paso during WWII and after, hugely popular with soldiers, the plain was aged two weeks, and the Gold four, for reasons I never understood much loved by my late father, a strong man) the vat bearing the Wild Turkey label, with a large bowl of pretzels close to hand: Aviator Rumsfeld, in a baby-blue bespoke uniform replete with gold trim and medals (including one of Pershing's expeditionary corps filched from unknown sources), holding a bottle of Peach Schnapps which is really filled with a cheap brand of Absinthe: Abu Gonzales, drinking from a blown glass bottle of Tex-Mex brand tequila, ingesting a Freedom Worm or two of the worms formerly known as Maguey Worms placed in tequila bottles by clever Mexicans to see if those crazy Greengoes would actually eat, and not for money) the things, all happily singing
"Oh Give me a Home where Osama does Roam, and the Sunnis and Shi'ites do Play, Where Seldom is Heard, a Discouraging Word, and the Screams and the Groans sound all Day".
I think the careful observer will agree that there's a goodly amount of assonance and scansion in the above without being superfluous.
Posted by: Jesus B. Ochoa at March 9, 2006 01:09 PM
