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"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
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"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
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"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming

March 21, 2006

I WENT TO STUTTS!!!

Have I ever mentioned that I went to Stutts University? The oldest, richest, best college on earth? I don't think I have. So let me mention that I went to Stutts University.

I've placed a small picture at left, just so there are no misunderstandings in the future. Misunderstandings about the fact that I went to Stutts.

UPDATE: Apparently there's a new book about Stutts called Freshman by some writer named Michael Graber (?). I don't know anything about it, but it sounds ridiculous. I strongly urge you not to buy it.

In any case, none of this should take away from the important point, which is that I went to Stutts University.

Posted at March 21, 2006 09:26 PM | TrackBack
Comments

So you're a Stutter?

I mean, a St-st-st-t-t-t-utter?

Posted by: floopmeister at March 22, 2006 12:10 AM

So that's where your authority comes from.

I didn't go anywhere. What'd I miss?

Posted by: Arvin Hill at March 22, 2006 12:34 AM

Damn, and here I thought you were a rare, intelligent son of Eli, arf arf. Next you'll be telling us you did grad work at Harvard, home of the intellectual torturists.

Posted by: Jesus B. Ochoa at March 22, 2006 07:56 AM

Hey, me too. Class of '93. I wonder if old Fienburger still teaches The Bible as Literature there. He must have been about 107 years old when I was there.

Posted by: spiiderweb at March 22, 2006 09:05 AM

Wait, I don't get it. You're saying you went to Stutts?

Posted by: saurabh at March 22, 2006 09:47 AM

JS, this part of your alumni's site explains a lot! I'm now beginning to understand the way Haliburton works!

"Each student spends the summer between Junior and Senior year working in a field of his/her choice, as the “interim CEO” of an alumni-run company. Though this has produced some scary moments—the collapse of Barings bank, several stock market crashes, Chernobyl—it has been an invaluable experience for our students."

Posted by: roger at March 22, 2006 10:32 AM

Really, Jon, the point isn't that you went there - the point is that Stutts is the oldest, richest, and best because YOU went there.

And John Bolton. Duh.

Posted by: Aaron Datesman at March 22, 2006 11:08 AM

Spiderweb, that is SO great--right on tone. With your permission, may I hide it somewhere in the second book?

Posted by: Mike of Rugoren at March 22, 2006 12:34 PM

Yes! It's frantic book-plugging time!

Mike even managed to tactfully slip a mention into an e-mail I sent him last month about an exchange of bitcheries I had with David Denby. I like to imagine that he greets the mailman wearing a mock-up of a Stutts U T-shirt.

I look forward to reading the book, Mike, you shameless bastard.

Posted by: Sully at March 22, 2006 06:16 PM

mock-up? it sounds like he has the whole varsity wardrobe already in his closet.

this explains why Jonathan is such a stuttly blargher.

Posted by: Saheli at March 22, 2006 07:15 PM

is the author the original gerber baby?

Posted by: almostinfamous at March 23, 2006 03:45 AM

Mike of Rugoren,

I would be honored. Please notify me when you've done it.

Stutts FOREVER! Or until whenever...

Posted by: spiiderweb at March 23, 2006 09:05 AM

I'm impressed by a school so indifferent to sports.

Posted by: gmanedit at March 27, 2006 01:55 PM