• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
•
"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
•
"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
July 04, 2006
Happy Birthday, America!
Here's what Thomas Jefferson wrote ten days before his death in 1826:
May [July 4th] be to the world, what I believe it will be, (to some parts sooner, to others later, but finally to all,) the signal of arousing men to burst the chains under which monkish ignorance and superstition had persuaded them to bind themselves, and to assume the blessings and security of self-government. That form which we have substituted, restores the free right to the unbounded exercise of reason and freedom of opinion. All eyes are opened, or opening, to the rights of man. The general spread of the light of science has already laid open to every view the palpable truth, that the mass of mankind has not been born with saddles on their backs, nor a favored few booted and spurred, ready to ride them legitimately, by the grace of God. These are grounds of hope for others. For ourselves, let the annual return of this day forever refresh our recollections of these rights, and an undiminished devotion to them.
Jefferson was truly everything weird and horrible and wonderful about America all mixed up in one person.
Now I'm going to go celebrate our freedom to barbeque things.
Posted at July 4, 2006 02:18 PM | TrackBack
I agree wholeheartedly, Jonathon.
May all of you have a wonderful Fourth of July.
May there ever be those like Jefferson protecting that which is truly American - all the weird stuff included.
Stuck at work now, but when I get off, I too will be barbecuing things. To everyone who reads this - either today or tomorrow - Happy Fourth of July. And for those non-Americans reading this, I hope you have one hell of a good day too. Just because.
:-D
Let us see how Jefferson's vision of the future is panning out or falling down as the case may be.
North Korea just fired off 6 missiles all of which fell in the Sea of Japan. Hurrah and on with the fireworks yes it is turning out to be a stunning fourth.
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/05/world/asia/05missile.html?hp&ex=1152072000&en=fa54ce789c81c127&ei=5094&partner=homepage
We even get a quote from the irrepressible Carter who makes up one third of the three stooges and is obviously disappointed that he and Perry were unable to start WWIII.
"It's very in your face to do it on the Fourth of July," said Ashton B. Carter, a Harvard professor who, with former defense secretary William J. Perry, had urged the Bush administration to destroy the Taepodong missile on the launching pad, advice the administration rejected."Hooray if it failed," Mr. Carter said.
* * * * *
And a further quote from the Times article points out the heart of the Bush plan a hope and prayer.
While the test itself was a sign of North Korea's defiance of the United States, for the administration, the outcome was as favorable as officials could have hoped for: the North's capacity was called into question, and the North's enigmatic leader, Kim Jong Il, has now put himself at odds with the two countries that have provided him aid, China and South Korea. "Our hope is that the Chinese are going to be furious," said one senior American official, who declined to be identified.
* * * * *
This is the essence of Bush policy. We got no plan but we hope China will be furious. Gee bullying the North Koreans did not work out, ignoring them did not work out gosh what will we do now? Wait I got it we could hold a séance and talk with the ghost of George Washington or maybe call God on the phone for a quick chat.
But that is not all because we got even higher hopes as the article continues.
At the same time, the launching is likely to strengthen the hand of hard-liners in the Bush administration who have long argued that the six-party talks were bound to fail. They now have what one American diplomat called "a clear runway" to press for a gradually escalating series of sanctions, which some officials clearly hope will bring down Mr. Kim's government.
* * * * *
You know we just keep hoping something will bring down Kim Jong and maybe we could hasten this by calling him names or leaking that his mother sucks eggs.
What a great administration is the Bushco. First Iraq is a grave threat to the safety of the world they have WMD! Meanwhile jolly Kim Jong is selling scud missiles to Iran and Pakistan, claims he does have WMD and Bush just keeps hoping, hoping and hoping.
While obviously North Korea is really not much of a threat except to his neighbors it is just as obvious Bush who considers himself a macho man leader does not have a clue as to how to deal with Kim Jong and neither does Rice, Cheney and least of all Rummy the master strategist.
Jefferson may have been a mixture of good and bad but Bush is nothing but plain old vanilla bad.
Being the more cynical and pessimistic, I prefer this Jefferson quote:
"From the conclusion of [the Revolutionary War] we shall be going down hill. It will not then be necessary to resort every moment to the people for support. They will be forgotten, therefore, and their rights disregarded. They will forget themselves in the sole faculty of making money, and will never think of uniting to effect a due respect for their rights. The shackles, therefore, which shall not be knocked off at the conclusion of this war, will be heavier and heavier, till our rights shall revive or expire in a convulsion."Posted by: James Cape at July 4, 2006 10:33 PM
Glad tidings and best bbq wishes to all, but I'm confused:
"The general spread of the light of science has already laid open to every view the palpable truth, that the mass of mankind has not been born with saddles on their backs, nor a favored few booted and spurred, ready to ride them legitimately, by the grace of God."
A commendable quote, but...didn't Thomas Jefferson keep slaves?
My brain hurts.
"Jefferson was truly everything weird and horrible and wonderful about America all mixed up in one person."
What an irrecucible witch's brew of characteristics-- reminds me of New Orleans.
Posted by: oyster at July 4, 2006 11:40 PMOf late I've been fond of exploring the gestalt concept and those trick images-- old hag, or pretty girl? two faces, or a vase? ...and so forth.
I think of how Junior has appropriated the fancy speechifyings of his predecessors, and he says some of the same things, only now they're coded to mean he's going to invade somebody. Or barbeque somebody, if you prefer.
Posted by: Jonathan Versen at July 5, 2006 12:33 AMJefferson represented all that was wierd, horrible and wonderful about America during the Age of Enlightenment. Unfortunately, the American electorate has been dumbed down by an excrutiatingly mediocre educational system which only gets worse year after year. Only the extremely affluent can afford a quality education and be allowed into those 'special organizations' which control global policy. That's why 'we, the people' will never be intellectual counterparts to our technology.
Ah, but I digress! Now is the time for all good little Islamofascists such as myself to bbq some of that delicious porcine flesh! I am, afterall, an 'American' intifada. As I have been saying all day:
Happy Last Birthday, America! The Constitution is Dead! Long Live King George!!!
Posted by: americanintifada at July 5, 2006 12:50 AMUrthwalker,
You may be wrong about that! From the looks of the present climate in Washington somebody must have gone to France and learned quite well from the Reign of Terror! I'll betca dollars to donuts that the BushCo White House Fourth of July BBQ featured baby-back ribs....made from real Muslim babies!!!
Posted by: americanintifada at July 5, 2006 11:26 PM