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"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
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"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
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"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
July 08, 2006
The Iron Law Of Generosity
The manipulative detainees at Guantanamo Bay reportedly used the generous civil liberties protections we gave them to plot their suicide pact. Are you surprised?
I've said it before and I'll say it again: if you want to understand the world, you will never go wrong by consulting the Iron Law of Generosity.
(via)
Posted at July 8, 2006 08:15 PM | TrackBackAmazing but true. Malkin definitely has got a Marie Antoinette thing going. With a added fillup of sadism, I guess.
Posted by: Henry at July 8, 2006 11:13 PMJesus, she's an asshole.
Posted by: Guest at July 9, 2006 02:50 AMThe trouble with the Michelle Malkin's and the Rush Limbaugh's of the world is that there are people who take them seriously and actually dote on every word they say as if it were the gospel truth.
This is at once a scary and humorous phenomenon.
I was just talking with a fellow who listens to radio talk shows and his mind is steeped in black helicopter conspiracies. He believes the Russians are going to explode a nuclear bomb in space over America so that the electro magnetic pulse will knock out all our computer chips. He believes taxes are destroying America. He quotes Limbaugh with a photographic memory much like a parrot and then tells me he is old enough to think for himself. He told me 52 percent of the population works for the government because so and so who was a guest of Limbaugh read it right off a piece of paper with statistics on it.
People that buy into this radio talk show stuff don’t seem to have the least idea of or even a hint of a clue of what critical thinking is. The government of course seems to just encourage this by telling us the suicides where a kind of asymmetrical warfare perpetrated by the prisoners. Asymmetrical warfare committed against us innocents of America?
Sigh.
During the gold rush in California those romantic forty-niners used to shoot the local Indians for sport. Let me repeat that, shoot the local Indians for sport so of course it is only logical and right to name a football team after them. And that is just a small sample of the genocide we innocents of America inflicted on the native population which included slaughtering whole villages women, children, babies, and part of the festivities including scalping the victims. We murdered and screwed the Indians every which way we could and that is why we were so upset that Saddam Hussein committed genocide and why we are so upset that the Chinese use child labor. Let us lecture the world on how to be humane because we are so high and noble. Frankly the whole sordid history of America once stripped of its propaganda hype does not bear close scrutiny which makes it laughable that we should lecture anyone on the correct way to be humanitarian.
America is an amazing country comprised of people who believe anything they are told as long as it is on a radio talk show or in a Michelle Malkin column that then turn around and lecture the world on etiquette forgetting our past which is swimming in blood, slavery and an immense hypocrisy. The truly sad thing is we are not all that different from the majority of other countries with their own bloody history.
Oh the humanity of it all.
This is the same Michelle Malkin who said that Muslim Americans should be rounded up and put in camps. At least I think she said 'interned'. Maybe she said 'interred'.
This is the same Michelle Malkin who wanted to intern Muslim Americans. Or was it 'inter'?
Posted by: Lloyd at July 9, 2006 07:04 AMGuest,
Michelle truly is a first-rate asshole along the lines of Big Andy Jackson whose 'generous offer' was so obscene that it offended a supreme Christian racist such as Daniel Boone. He lost his seat in the House at that time for refusing to support his favorite Democratic president. Unfortunately, Big Andy was of the same Scot-Irish heritage as myself.
Those ancestors of mine came to America seeking that ever vaunted, but seldom found 'generous offer' known as the American Dream. Once here, they had to Americanize the spelling of the original O'Intifadaugh in order to be accepted back in the 1850s. Anglicanizing names is still quite common because of the attitudes of those uneducated masses who base their ideology on skin color rather than content of character.
Tom ("Call Me Woodrow") Wilson supposedly was an intellectual peace-loving Christian, but he called 'Birth of a Nation' the most important film of all time! 'He kept us out of war' was his re-election slogan, but his 'generous offer' was to send troops to Europe and then pretend he was God on Earth by forcing a League of Nations agenda on an extremely unwilling populace, not only at home but in Europe as well.
Our present day Crusade in the Holy Land is proof that Americans have not evolved past those same superstions of the 12th Century mindset. As for myself, I happen to live in the 21st Century and my 'generous offer' is to invite the rest of the world join me here. All of the previously mentioned 'Good Little Christians' were assholes, but I'm positive that the 'littlest prophet' Jesus would have had nothing to do with them!!!!
Posted by: americanintifada at July 9, 2006 07:16 AMHey, did anybody actually follow the link? It said the detainees coordinated by passing notes written on their "Attorney-Client Privilege" paper, that they can keep in their cells and our guards are forbidden to read. That is kind of nice of us, you know. Doesn't jibe at all with the amount of access to attorneys that we have been giving there, is probably some kind of propaganda to make casual readers think we're solicitous, but if you believe it, it's rather a generous touch.
Posted by: Noumenon at July 9, 2006 10:18 AMIt's amazing how ungrateful those never-formally-charged (what do we call them? Prisoners? How about hostages? Although there hasn't really been a ransom put forth - maybe, um... pawns? That's as close as I can ever come... I need to bust out the Roget's) separated-from-family-and-home, forced-to-eat-rice-pilaf (or you know, force fed), "worst of the worst" are, to plan mass suicide in order to make people take notice of their situation.
Funnily, it sort of worked (but not as well as it would have worked if Americans weren't so goddamn incurious). Which has to be part of the reason Malkin et al are freaking out so badly. They've got to get people confused, so when their compassion sensors start going off, they are scrambled by this kind of crap.
Posted by: lavalady at July 9, 2006 02:10 PMWow. Black is white, up is down, indefinite detention is liberty.
FWIW, I read your "Iron Law of Generosity" post and I think it's brilliant. But then, what else would one expect from a Stutts graduate?
Why Michelle Malkin does not want you to read the New York Times?
http://www.creators.com/opinion_show.cfm?columnsName=mim
The answer may be found here.
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/07/washington/07recruit.html?_r=2&oref=slogin&oref=slogin
Hate Groups Are Infiltrating the Military, Group Asserts
By JOHN KIFNER
Published: July 7, 2006
A decade after the Pentagon declared a zero-tolerance policy for racist hate groups, recruiting shortfalls caused by the war in Iraq have allowed "large numbers of neo-Nazis and skinhead extremists" to infiltrate the military, according to a watchdog organization.
The Southern Poverty Law Center, which tracks racist and right-wing militia groups, estimated that the numbers could run into the thousands, citing interviews with Defense Department investigators and reports and postings on racist Web sites and magazines.
"We've got Aryan Nations graffiti in Baghdad," the group quoted a Defense Department investigator as saying in a report to be posted today on its Web site, www.splcenter.org. "That's a problem."
...The report cited accounts by neo-Nazis of their infiltration of the military, including a discussion on the white supremacist Web site Stormfront. "There are others among you in the forces," one participant wrote. "You are never alone."
An article in the National Alliance magazine Resistance urged skinheads to join the Army and insist on being assigned to light infantry units.
The Southern Poverty Law Center identified the author as Steven Barry, who it said was a former Special Forces officer who was the alliance's "military unit coordinator."
"Light infantry is your branch of choice because the coming race war and the ethnic cleansing to follow will be very much an infantryman's war," he wrote. "It will be house-to-house, neighborhood-by-neighborhood until your town or city is cleared and the alien races are driven into the countryside where they can be hunted down and 'cleansed.' "
He concluded: "As a professional soldier, my goal is to fill the ranks of the United States Army with skinheads. As street brawlers, you will be useless in the coming race war. As trained infantrymen, you will join the ranks of the Aryan warrior brotherhood."
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This would seem to be a Malkin dream come true neo Nazis in the military with genocidal tendencies towards alien races. There might be more to the atrocities than battle fatigue eh? More of the Bush legacy onwards and upwards. And thus we see how stupidity and violence perpetuate and escalate as we careen out of control.
It boggles the mind to think of the number of screwers who started off as screwees. Didn't US foreign policy destroy the Philippines? I can add John Yoo, Viet Dinh and Condi Rice to that list as well. To an extent, their lives were shaped for the worse by the actions of the American Empire, that all too soon prevented their own struggling native lands from achieving their ideals. But it boggles to mind to think that they have now joined hands in supporting it.
If ignorance is bliss, oh how Empire fosters sweet bliss!
Posted by: En Ming Hee at July 9, 2006 11:35 PMRegarding the story itself, I'm not sure I understand - two of the three detainees never had contact with their attorneys. So what material could their lawyers have given them? How could contact with their lawyers have possibly facilitated their "suicide pact" when they HAD no contact with their lawyers? Sounds like hooey designed to REMOVE civil liberties for the detainees that actually have it on wholly spurious grounds, to me.
Posted by: saurabh at July 10, 2006 02:56 PMNice piece in Slate, man.
Posted by: abb1 at July 11, 2006 01:13 PM