or Powell's or me• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
•
"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
•
"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
August 16, 2006
My Apologies If You're Hit By The Flecks Of Vomit
Hey, let's check in with the Washington Post op-ed page!
A PATH TO LASTING PEACEBy Condoleezza Rice
Wednesday, August 16, 2006; Page A13For the past month the United States has worked urgently to end the violence that Hezbollah and its sponsors have imposed on the people of Lebanon and Israel.
Wow, nice job by the minion who wrote this for Rice to sign her name to! Surely this kind of well-wrought language is what inspired the minion to become a writer in the first place!
...all righty now, let me just reach for my bucket, andâ€â€Â
blllllleeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggghh!!!!!!
Huh. You know, usually you feel much better after throwing up. I wonder why...wait, hold on, there's moâ€â€Â
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLEEEEEAAAARRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay. Well, I think I'm going to outsource the rest of this post to John Ralston Saul in Voltaire's Bastards:
Languageâ€â€Ânot money or forceâ€â€Âprovides legitimacy...Posted at August 16, 2006 04:41 PM | TrackBackThe wordsmiths who serve our imagination are always devoted to communication. Clarity is always their method. Universality is their aim. The wordsmiths who serve established power, on the other hand, are always devoted to obscurity. They castrate the language...The undoubted sign of a society well under control or in decline is that language has ceased to be a means of communication and has become instead a shield for those who master it.
You gotta admit they're better at then I am.
Posted by: Mike Meyer at August 16, 2006 06:34 PMThanks Jonathan, I would not have missed than one for the world.
For once I am speechless, an unusual condition for me.
Barfaroni is really neat,
Barfaroni is fun to eat.
Hooray, for barfaroni.
Brought to you by Chef Boyardee and sung to the music of the original beefaroni theme song.
She's totally full of shit.
Posted by: Guest at August 16, 2006 08:52 PMWow, Saul is the coolest.
How the hell does a few degrees north of difference in latitude make so much difference in the way people think?
Posted by: En Ming Hee at August 16, 2006 08:55 PMWhat was the more important function of the Op-Ed? To claim that the US was taking urgent action on the problem, or to do some apologetics for Israel?
I just ate, so I can't read the rest of it right now.
Posted by: Adam Kotsko at August 16, 2006 10:50 PMAdam poses the question:
"What was the more important function of the Op-Ed? To claim that the US was taking urgent action on the problem, or to do some apologetics for Israel?"
I think the real answer is apologetics for Rice.
It's the famous "non-apology apology"(patent pending) in which she tries to schlep off blame for the lackadaisical approach the Bushies have taken to getting Israel, er, the aggressors, to cease hostilities. Or if you prefer,
"Nobody could have known that if we dragged our asses on pressuring Israel to stop killing people and laid all the blame at Hezbollah's feet, more civilians would have been killed."
Presumably, Powell is working on a book about how, like McNamara, he was just a pawn of a fiendish Machiavellian war machine, etc. He'll wring his hands and attend book signings.
Presumably, Rice will also write a book about how, like Powell, she was just a pawn of a fiendish Machiavellian war machine, etc. She'll wring her hands and attend book signings.
Posted by: Jonathan Versen at August 17, 2006 12:21 AMJohathan S,
You sound like one of those 'nattering nabobs of negativism' that Spiro Agnew complained about just before he was carted off to jail for tax evasion. Pat Buchanan penned that catchy little phrase for him and ironically is now one of those 'nabobs' himself. I saw a rough draft of Pat's next article about Condi which begins with this catchy little phrase:
BBBBBBBBLLLLEEEEEAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Maybe you should sue him for plagiarism.
Posted by: americanintifada at August 17, 2006 01:33 AMWar is peace. Freedom is slavery. Big Sister is love.
Posted by: Lloyd at August 17, 2006 05:21 AMOoops. The Post eds meant to put that on the comics page...
Posted by: Aunt Deb at August 17, 2006 05:35 AMMy country 'tis of thee,
bleak land of perfidy,
for you I weep.
Georgie's sending Olmert a Meritorious Public Service Award (Fed-Ex)for doing a " heckofajob". (there'll also be a little someting EXTRA in the ole pay envelope this month too)
Posted by: Mike Meyer at August 17, 2006 10:51 AM
