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"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
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"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
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"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
October 11, 2006
Dear National Security Council: Thanks For Not Burdening Us With Excessive Information
You know what makes me mad? When people don't realize I'm busy and don't need my brain cluttered up with lots of superfluous names and dates and numbers. That's why I'm grateful to Frederick Jones:
More than 600,000 Iraqis have died by violence since the U.S.-led invasion in 2003, according to a study released today by researchers at Johns Hopkins University...Frederick Jones, a spokesman for the National Security Council said "many experts" found that a 2004 study by the same group "wildly inflated the findings." That study said the war had caused 100,000 Iraqi deaths.
You see? Mr. Jones could have blathered on and on for hours, naming the specific thousands of extremely qualified experts who came to that conclusion about the earlier study. But he knows I don't have time for that kind of nonsense! All I need to hear is that these many experts are out there, showing we haven't killed any Iraqis during this war. In fact, these very same experts have found we've actually caused several hundred thousand dead Iraqis to be resurrected.
Thanks, National Security Councilâ€â€Âfor keeping my brain secure!
Posted at October 11, 2006 08:18 AM | TrackBackIt reminds me of a story - maybe something like it happened once - let's say it was George Bernard Shaw in conversation at a ruling class dinner with the woman seated next to him - he inquires, "Would you spend the night with me for a million pounds?" She says, "Yes, I suppose I would." "What about five pounds?" "What do you take me for??!!!" "We've already established that - now we're negotiating the price."
In the same way, this controversy is about HOW MANY Iraqis our invasion and occupation has resulted in the death of - how many were directly killed by our weapons, how many by their fellow Iraqis in the consequent state of civil war, how many by the social disruptions, etc. It's basically quibbling about the price they - the Iraqis - have paid for being so damn attractive to the Bush Gang. The Iraqis were the ones who were dressed so provocatively, who were behaving in such a flirty way, who were hanging around in an unsavory neighborhood - it's THEIR fault.
P.S. Above is sarcasm.
Posted by: Freddy el Desfibradddoro at October 11, 2006 08:55 AMInteresting. Here's an article from the Sydney Morning Herald about the same study. I would be interested to read about any studies that dispute these findings. Do they actually exist?
http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/at-least-600000-civilians-killed-in-iraq-study-finds/2006/10/11/1160246197531.html
Posted by: Dave at October 11, 2006 02:50 PMDave: No. What I've found is five people, none of whom are known for their intimacy with academic rigor, who say to every reporter they can find that they just don't believe their ears. Bush, Casey, Rumsfeld, Howard, and (as a figleaf) the Brookings Institution's Michael E. O'Hanlon.
Sadly, Iraq Body Count made the awesome error of equivocating: "We were informed of this study late on Tuesday by a journalist, and have decided not to offer further comment until we have read and digested the full report. Once the Lancet report goes public, we will issue a full statement on our web-site. We are not offering individual interviews to journalists at this time."
Added to Bush's headline quote, the Iraq Body Count statement lent Bush credence and eroded what should have been overwhelming applause for the Hopkins School's dangerous and important work. They should have said, "We haven't seen the study but we know our numbers represent only a miniscule proportion of all deaths in the country. Few deaths outside central Baghdad are reported in the media, and we base our number on press reports."
Posted by: hedgehog at October 12, 2006 04:51 AMJonathan:
Feel secure also in knowing that your brain will not be cluttered with big numbers regarding the exact amount in millions, billions or even trillions of tax dollars being siphoned into contractors' pockets since there are no inspectors in Iraq to regulate this money.
Could it be possible that Halliburton is stashing all of that money away to issue rebates for all of those resurrected Iraqis? Probably not. That would mean having to keep track of names, dates and numbers and we've already been told that the occupation forces "don't do body counts".
Posted by: JLaR at October 12, 2006 05:34 AM