or Powell's or me• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
•
"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
•
"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
October 28, 2006
I Wish I Could Be Surprised By This Website's Anti-Jon Schwarz Bias
It's really incredible the way this website is biased against me. I keep thinking that one day it will end. But no! This site just goes on and on and on with its bias, shamelessly misrepresenting me and my achievements.
That's why I sympathize with Lynne Cheney, who just said this on CNN:
I shouldn't let media bias surprise me, but I worked at CNN once.
I hear you, Mrs. Cheney! For several years she was co-host of Crossfire Sunday. This is the way institutions express their bias against you: by paying you and giving you a regular, prominent platform to express your ideas.
Gregory Mankiw, well-known conservative economist and former Chairman of the Council of Economic Advisers for the Bush administration, has suffered from exactly this kind of bias at Harvard. As Mankiw says:
Harvard University is, by some measures, one of the most left-wing institutions on the face of the earth.
And because it's one of the most-left wing institutions on earth, Harvard gave Mankiw a fancy endowed chair and a job for life. That's how extremist left-wing institutions work! It's disgusting!
When will CNN stop oppressing Lynne Cheney? When will Harvard stop oppressing Greg Mankiw? WHEN WILL THIS WEBSITE STOP OPPRESSING ME?!?
All I know is that I refuse to live in fear any longer. Do you hear me, website? THE TIME FOR SILENCE IS OVER.
Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of [Jon's website].
—Robert F. Kennedy
Posted at October 28, 2006 09:30 AM | TrackBackThis is a virulent anti-Sam post.
The media have worked hand in glove with the Bushies and now are somewhat pretending to be critical. This is partly to buttress the "liberal media" thing, it's rats fleeing a sinking ship and it's a safety net for the empire; something we're all complicit with to varying degrees, not quite as much as the media, the tiny occupation, or this oppressive post.
Posted by: sam at October 28, 2006 10:16 AMSam, thank you for speaking out against the way that comment was biased against you.
It's an interesting question as to whether your comment was intentionally biased against you, or simply swims in such a sea of anti-Sam bias it's no longer aware of it. The end result is the same, of course.
Posted by: Jonathan Schwarz at October 28, 2006 10:29 AMI'm so envious. No one seems biased about/toward/of? (don't know the right preposition) me. Maybe I haven't pissed off the right people?
Posted by: SPIIDERWEB™ at October 28, 2006 12:23 PM[This comment deleted, as disparaging to President Bush]
Posted by: Guest at October 28, 2006 12:32 PMIt's OK, spiiderweb. I'm biased in relation to you. If you'd like, I could be neutrally biased about you, positively biased toward you, or negatively biased against you. I used to work in the media and I currently work in academia, so I'm a fully qualified professional. You shouldn't try this at home.
Posted by: Smiling Mortician at October 28, 2006 12:56 PMGod, I never realized it! That harridan at The Sideshow is biased against me!
Thank you for giving me the courage to stand up against this outrageous oppression!
Posted by: Avedon at October 28, 2006 06:44 PM"WHEN WILL THIS WEBSITE STOP OPPRESSING ME?"
My best guess would be when you get it working right.
Jon, you are beginning to worry me. I continue to read your blog, although I have not commented for some time. It appears your general level of hysteria is increasing, and has been increasing for some time now. This may in fact be a result of the oppression of which you speak. It may be that the magnificent task of educating a vast American public to the clear and sordid mendacity of the nation's government has begun to crack your worthy, rock-like exterior.
It may be that the time has come to achieve a symbiosis with the website, Jon. Do not resist the website. Be the website. Be the website Jon. Bring it forth from within.
Posted by: Alexis S at October 28, 2006 10:47 PMMy own site is biased against you, too, Jon, and I consider it shameful. In fact, this very comment is very nearly hate speech against you. And while I am doing the best I can to infiltrate myself and try to subvert my message, ultimately I am afraid I have enough structural flaws that I cannot help but influence people against you.
In an ideal world, I would be either broken up or nationalized.
Posted by: Bob Harris at October 29, 2006 12:28 AMI am neutral toward Jon, which, on this website, appears the same to others as if I was biased towards him. I did not leave the anti-Jon mainstream. It left me when it betrayed its principles by being against Sam.
Posted by: Kip W at October 29, 2006 12:47 PMIt is not only this site. President Bush has valiantly sought to stay the course, but he's being undermined by the prominent terrorist sympathizer, President Bush, who dismisses staying the course out of hand. Our country will only be ruled by God when President Bush meets President Bush and wrestles him to two out of three falls.
(However, the Vice President has never been undermined by the Vice President. We can all rest assured of that. Satan, it turns out, has only so much energy, and could only produce one Cheney. Then he had to rest for a couple eternities)
Posted by: roger at October 29, 2006 10:31 PMNow it's time for the website's response -- that it has been the helpless victim of a nasty attack campaign by extremist opponents working with Jon, Barbra Streisand, Cindy Sheehan, and George Soros to conspire to shut it down, simply for speaking the truth.
(if the website needs any help with this, it can see Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, or Ann Coulter for the template).
Posted by: Whistler Blue at October 30, 2006 03:54 PM
