or Powell's or me• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
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"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
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"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
January 21, 2007
What You Should Do Today
FIRST, read this excerpt from Revelation X by the Church of the Subgenius:
Humans would rather fight their neighbors than the Conspiracy. That's been the key to Their success. Pinks prefer the familiar in everything, ESPECIALLY enemies. Colonialism never would have succeeded anywhere, had the natives not been so dedicated to fighting amongst themselves that they were happy to sell out to the invaders for a few extra blunderbusses. By the time any two given tribes of Normals stop hating each other and start organizing against the common foe, it's too late and they're BOTH under the jackboot. What's worse, the minute the genocidal conquerors finish looting and leave, the natives go right back to fratricide. This pattern repeats itself in all human systems, from nations down to kindergarten classrooms. You can bet that if any group of people are starving to death, their neighbors will be throwing food away in PLAIN VIEW.Without divine intervention, we can probably look forward to an inevitable, perpetual apocalypse in which the "Enlightened Fascism" of a New World Order/Northern Hemisphere Conspiracy will be pitted against the more traditional Third World Fascism of a Southern Hemisphere Conspiracy...a planet where the loud hairy tribes of super-industrialized Northern Asia-America-Europe-Russia are a cancerous blight of asphalt and shotguns, paranoiacally guarding their soft, formica empires against the hard and hungry hoards from South America-Africa-India-and the Middle East...forever, and ever, and ever.
SECOND, watch the below "debate" on Al-Jazeera. The guests are (1) Mishan al-Jabouri, owner of Al-Zawraa, the TV network close to Iraq's Sunni insurgency, and (2) Sadeq Al-Musawi, identified as an Iraqi journalist. (Ignore that the translation and editing are the work of the loathsome MEMRI.)
THIRD, despair for humanity.
Posted at January 21, 2007 07:08 AM | TrackBackYou Persian shoe!
Posted by: yaz at January 21, 2007 07:29 AMThe video is funny.
I'm not sure it's true that "humans would rather fight their neighbors than the Conspiracy." I think humans would rather fight the Conspiracy, and it's Conspiracy's task to make them fight each other instead.
I do agree that it usually isn't a very difficult task.
Posted by: abb1 at January 21, 2007 08:01 AMWas that John Bolton on the right?
It's interesting that the Sadr aide who was arrested last week said in an interview with CBS, prior to his arrest, that Shias and Sunnis in Iraq generally got along -- until the Americans came. Something about the 'Salvador Option' and planned mayhem.
Posted by: Lloyd at January 21, 2007 11:59 AMBob's got quite a sales pitch for his book, I may well buy it. I wonder, does he (Bob) advertise on television also, or just on the Web (My TV like computer screen). And yes, I deeply fear for Humanity.
Posted by: Mike Meyer at January 21, 2007 02:28 PMBob has seem my money, praise his sweet name, so I am no longer pink and my salvation is GUARANTEED or TRIPLE my money back!
SO the world can go to hell for all I care.
Posted by: Pastor Doodah at January 21, 2007 03:56 PMMemri TV?
Check out the site and look at it's quotes...
These are the same people that translated Iran's president speech with "wipe off the map" and shit?
Posted by: Uncle Bob at January 22, 2007 04:13 AMthanks jon, but i dont really need another reason to despair for the world :)
Posted by: almostinfamous at January 22, 2007 07:17 AM"dustbin of history" is one of those phrases that really jumps out as a distinctly Iraqi cliche. :p
Also: Memri wasn't the one who translated it as "wipe off the map", they translated it as "[T]his regime that is occupying Qods must be eliminated from the pages of history." The "wipe off the map" part is from Iran's translators, from what I understand (just google "wipe site:president.ir"). I think the sticking point for mis-translations in the yellow press is the replacing of "occupying regime" with "Israel".
Memri's loathsomeness stems from its selection bias, not its translations, tmk.
Despair for humanity? Always. I'm just hoping to get off this planet alive.
Posted by: DBK at January 22, 2007 10:46 PMDBK: Invest in BURT RUTAN, probably your best chance at this time.
Posted by: Mike Meyer at January 23, 2007 11:28 AM
