or Powell's or me• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
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"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
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"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
June 01, 2007
The Manly Men Of The Nixon Administration Visit McManlytown
Here's Richard Nixon being extremely manly in the Oval Office tapes:
NIXON: You know what happened to the Romans? The last six Roman emperors were fags. Neither in a public way. You know what happened to the popes? They were layin' the nuns; that's been goin' on for years, centuries. But the Catholic Church went to hell three or four centuries ago. It was homosexual, and it had to be cleaned out. That's what's happened to Britain. It happened earlier to France.Let's look at the strong societies. The Russians. Goddamn, they root 'em out. They don't let 'em around at all...
The upper class in San Francisco is that way. The Bohemian Grove, which I attend from time to time--it is the most faggy goddamned thing you could ever imagine, with that San Francisco crowd. I can't shake hands with anybody from San Francisco.
Here's Kissinger in The Final Days, wearing the man-manly pants:
On occasion [Kissinger] expressed enthusiasm at the size of the bomb craters that American B-52s left in North Vietnam, and he once bragged to Elliot Richardson that they would "reduce Le Duc Tho to tears." When Anthony Lake, his executive assistant, questioned the bombing policies, Kissinger ridiculed him. In a long discussion that grew heated, Kissinger said Lake's approach to the war was "not manly enough."
Also in the The Final Days, Alexander Haig rides the manly train to McManlyville:
To Kissinger and his aides, Haig sometimes referred to the President as an inherently weak man who lacked guts. He joked that Nixon and Bebe Robozo had a homosexual relationship, imitating what he called the President's limp-wrist manner.
Manly!
Posted at June 1, 2007 02:15 PM | TrackBackHoly shit. At least Le Duc Tho had the good grace to refuse his Nobel Peace Prize. If there's any kind of ironic justice in the world, that thing will be used to bludgeon Henry to death.
Posted by: saurabh at June 1, 2007 02:53 PMKISSINGER WITH A PEACE PRIZE what does that tell you? (oooh mama look at me we're on our way to the promised land, we're on the highway to hell)
Posted by: Mike Meyer at June 1, 2007 03:15 PMLatent homosexuality rules our world.
Posted by: Guest at June 1, 2007 03:33 PMWell, dear boy, you must, simply must read "Manliness," a book by Harvard professor Harvey Mansfield and published by Yale University Press. Full of manly, woody words and sentences.
Fight fiercely!
Where on earth did Nixon get that notion about "the last six Roman emperors"?
His grasp of history appears to be, er, limp-wristed.
Posted by: Anderson at June 1, 2007 04:21 PMAnderson, the comment about the Roman emperors is a classic example of truthiness. If one assumes that Nixon is correct about the nature of the demise of the Roman empire, then his statement of fact in support of the thesis, while not true, is certainly True. It represents a higher truth than the merely factual.
Posted by: weldon berger at June 1, 2007 05:22 PMThis line of reasoning may be too subtle for me, but I'm confused about how the popes "layin' the nuns" makes the Church "homosexual." I guess it would help to have Nixon's broad view of history.
Posted by: Mollie at June 1, 2007 05:28 PMMollie: the Popes USED to "lay the nuns". But in the last three or four centuries, they've all turned into a bunch of faggots, and thus, the degeneracy of the Church.
Posted by: saurabh at June 1, 2007 05:43 PMI love it when these little armchair Napoleons talk tough from positions of comfort and safety. Something tells me that if trouble came, Kissinger would hightail his whimpering fat ass out of the way so quickly that one would only see the settling dust and an extended trail of urine behind him. Put Kissinger in close quarters with the people he so "manly" ordered to be bombed and you'd need a stopwatch to measure the amount of time it would take for just one of them to reduce ol' Hank to tears.
Where do cowards like these come from? Is there a factory somewhere that I don't know about? Good lord..
Posted by: Ming The Merciful at June 1, 2007 06:51 PMMing: Factory? No factory they're farm bred right here in AMERICA, THEY'RE AMERICAN MADE. (one of the FEW products we haven't outsourced through GAT and NAFTA to the foreigners. You can't raise like we do when all you've is a water buffalo pulling the plow. It takes technical know how.)
Posted by: Mike Meyer at June 1, 2007 07:07 PMThank you, saurabh, I see now -- I was misinterpreting Nixon's timeline. It would have been helpful if he had written all this down. A flow chart kind of thing.
Posted by: Mollie at June 1, 2007 10:48 PMremind me to ask about Nixon's rep with his church the next time I see a Quaker. No, seriously. Otherwise I'll forget.
Posted by: Jonathan Versen at June 2, 2007 12:59 AMBack in the days of Late Nixon, the National Lampoon had a piece on "The Lies and Loves of Dixie Nixon", presenting the whole White house as a stereotypical "fairy nest" of men in make up..
And the tearful confessions of Dixie, betrayed by closet case John Dean. Good times...
Seriously, everything posted here is just funny as hell. Personally, I don't know how to top any of it except for stating the fact that most if not all "social conservatives" tend to be BRH (Barely Repressed Homosexuals). This might go on to explaining some of this....
Posted by: at June 2, 2007 05:13 PM
