You may only read this site if you've purchased Our Kampf from Amazon or Powell's or me
• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show

"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket

"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming

July 09, 2007

George Bush's Ass-Based Foreign Policy

This is from the new book The Blair Years by Tony Blair's spin master Alastair Campbell:

Shortly before the Commons debate, Mr Campbell recalls President Bush promising: "If you win the vote in Parliament, I'll kiss your ass."

This is from Hubris by Michael Isikoff and David Corn:

As Fleischer recounted [an exchange with Helen Thomas about Saddam Hussein] for the president, Bush's mood changed...Out of nowhere, he unleashed a stream of expletives.

"Did you tell her I'm going to kick his sorry motherfucking ass all over the Mideast?"

This is from Ariel Sharon: An Intimate Portrait by Israeli journalist Uri Dan:

“It was an excellent discussion with the President,” Sharon told me afterwards when we sat in a fancy colonial furnished corner of ‘Blair House’..."The President was very friendly and he replied that he is decisive in continuing his total war against Bin Laden...” and here Sharon stopped for a moment, like someone who finds it hard to express the President’s words, but he got over it and smiled: “He told me about Bin Laden – “I’LL SCREW HIM IN HIS ASS.”

Other foreign leaders and the proposed Bush actions toward their asses:

• Germany's Gerhard Schroeder, "appreciate"

• Venezuela's Hugo Chavez, "perform liposuction upon"

• Mexico's Vicente Fox, "spray gold and silver glitter onto"

• Japan's Junichiro Koizumi, "croon ballads softly to"

Posted at July 9, 2007 02:19 PM | TrackBack
Comments

What body part would you have him base his foreign policy on?
This could turn into one of those best-selling "leadership" books. Leadership from/by________.
(Hitler: one ball? Mussolini? Mao? Stalin?)

Posted by: donescobar at July 9, 2007 03:22 PM

Think of it -- the whole world wired to George Bush's ass!

(Book? More like a Reader's Digest article: "I Am George's Ass.")

Posted by: Kip W at July 9, 2007 05:38 PM

you forgot Germany's Una merkel, "also appreciate. and fondle."

Posted by: Jonathan Versen at July 9, 2007 06:01 PM

Branding pledges asses, too.

Jeff Gannon for Secretary of State.

Posted by: Bob In Pacifica at July 9, 2007 07:43 PM

Boy, that George IS one talented asshole. I never would have dreamt he could do all that. Always felt he was a "one trick horse's ass."

Posted by: Mike Meyer at July 9, 2007 08:06 PM

Wonderful post.

Try as I might, I can't quite imagine Churchill saying something like that to FDR. Perhaps Bush mistakes crudity for statesmanly intimacy.

Not that I'm surprised; I've already come to think of Bush-fils as a consummate asshole, sort of an asshole's asshole.

Love the blog, btw.

Posted by: Leah at July 10, 2007 04:28 AM

Isn't this a violation of the don't ask don't tell policy? Can't our Commander and Chief be thrown out for a reason like this? Let the impeachment begin.

Posted by: liberal white boy at July 10, 2007 08:16 AM

Isn't this a violation of the don't ask don't tell policy? Can't our Commander and Chief be thrown out for a reason like this? Let the impeachment begin.

Posted by: liberal white boy at July 10, 2007 08:17 AM

He's still waiting for that reach around Osammy!

Posted by: at July 10, 2007 08:40 AM

He's gonna suck the fat out of Hugo's arse????

I'd pay to see that....

Posted by: Twisted_Colour at July 11, 2007 02:37 AM

I'm reminded of some lines Frank Zappa wrote in a doo-wop song

"What's the ugliest part of your body?
What's the ugliest part of your body?
Some say your nose, some say your toes,
Buth I think it's your mind" [draw this word out melismatically]

Posted by: mistah charley, ph.d. at July 11, 2007 08:37 AM

A GOLDEN OPPERTUNITY MISSED, when talking to Mr. Campbell he could have used the word ROYAL, as in "I'll kiss your ROYAL ass". Just one more example of this President's missing the boat.

Posted by: Mike Meyer at July 11, 2007 11:08 AM

The policy continues!
http://www.philly.com/philly/wires/ap/news/nation/washington/8625172.html
Presumably they're looking for further material to include in his speeches having exhausted that which is readily accessible.

Posted by: me at July 21, 2007 03:20 AM