or Powell's or me• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
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"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
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"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
September 28, 2007
This Is Where We Disagree
I'm pleased to read this New York Times article about US religious leaders meeting with Ahmadinejad. Good for them. Yet here's where these religious leaders and I part ways:
At the clerics’ meeting, Albert Lobe, executive director of the Mennonite Central Committee, said pointedly, “We mean to extend to you the hospitality which a head of state deserves.”
My position is that all heads of state of all countries at all times should, when appearing in public, be showered with rotting garbage. This garbage should consist of at least 5% rancid mayonnaise by volume.
It's not that there are no worthwhile heads of state. At any time Planet Earth may enjoy as many as two of them. But the worthwhile ones will appreciate the garbage-pelting policy and not be deterred, while the non-worthwhile ones may decide to move into a less destructive career, such as serial killer.
Posted at September 28, 2007 11:22 AM | TrackBackwhere do i sign up for this garbage throwing?
Posted by: almostinfamous at September 28, 2007 12:33 PMFirst, I want to say that I am enormously in favor of pelting any and all heads-of-state with rotting refuse, on any possible occasion.
But I wouldn't want this policy to become exclusive. I think, for instance, the same courtesy should be extended Cabinet officers, Congresscritters, and the Federal judiciary. And to Hummer drivers. Or anyone who STILL has a Bush bumpersticker on their cars. Or tries to negotiate traffic while talking on a cell phone...
"Garbage doesn't kill people."
C. Heston
I thought they are serial killers, except on a grander scale.
OT: Nice quote by Seymour Hersh in SPIEGEL interview on Kissinger: "Er log wie andere Leute atmen." He lied the way others breathe.
What about the religious leaders?
Posted by: abb1 at September 28, 2007 01:15 PMabb1
Pelt them with rotting manna.
there's no head of state so bad they don't have one spark of light in them somewhere
and no head of state without at least one speck of darkness either
may the Creative Forces of the Universe have mercy on their souls (if any)
Posted by: mistah charley, ph.d. at September 28, 2007 02:55 PMI heartily support this suggestion.
Posted by: Batocchio at September 28, 2007 03:46 PMI emphatically agree, having had about all the nation-state fun I can handle for the rest of this lifetime.
The real issue for me isn't whether heads-of-state deserve to be pelted with garbage, but, rather, the cover charge I am willing to absorb in order to do the pelting. As it turns out, not much, which probably accounts for the fact that, despite my advancing years, I will be attending a death metal show tonight instead. It's only five dollars.
Posted by: Arvin Hill at September 28, 2007 05:39 PMHmmm... America's religious leaders extend Ahmadinejad the hospitality he deserves as a head of state; the secular leaders greet him as a religious fanatic. That's an interesting variation over the theme "division between Church and State".
Posted by: MacDonald at September 29, 2007 08:24 AM``I thought they are serial killers, except on a grander scale.''
No, they are mass-murderers. There is a difference. Bush's career as a serial killer ended when he left the Governor's Office in Texas and stopped signing death warrants.
Posted by: Feeder of Felines at September 29, 2007 09:12 PMOne head of state who should not be pelted with garbage is Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands, who is, by all accounts, a decent human being, who encourages civilized legislation. Not that, with a conservative majority in place, theS Dutch Parliament always the produces the same, mind you. I know little of the monarchs of the Scandinavian countries, but my impression is that they are also not a disgrace to the human race.
Posted by: Feeder of Felines at September 29, 2007 09:21 PMOne head of state who should not be pelted with garbage is Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands, who is, by all accounts, a decent human being, who encourages civilized legislation. Not that, with a conservative majority in place, theS Dutch Parliament always the produces the same, mind you. I know little of the monarchs of the Scandinavian countries, but my impression is that they are also not a disgrace to the human race.
Posted by: Feeder of Felines at September 29, 2007 09:21 PMOne head of state who should not be pelted with garbage is Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands, who is, by all accounts, a decent human being, who encourages civilized legislation. Not that, with a conservative majority in place, the Dutch Parliament always the produces the same, mind you. I know little of the monarchs of the Scandinavian countries, but my impression is that they are also not a disgrace to the human race.
Posted by: Feeder of Felines at September 29, 2007 09:21 PMWell that garbage-showering leaves President Ahmadinejad out. He's merely the head of government in Iran. The chief of state, since 4 June 1989, is Supreme Leader Ali Hoseini-Khamanei.
Posted by: Don Bacon at September 30, 2007 12:00 AMTo read more info. about this meeting that MCC sponsored with President Ahmadinejad go to
http://mcc.org/news/news/article.html?id=256
Blessed are the peacemakers!
