or Powell's or me• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
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"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
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"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
December 24, 2007
My Christmas Message
I'm so tired of the commercialization of decrying the commercialization of Christmas!
When I was growing up, we didn't need special issues of Real Simple Magazine or episodes of Oprah to decry the commercialization of Christmas. I bet my entire family could have decried the commercialization of Christmas for less money than they spend on one disapproving segment on the CBS Evening News with Katie Couric about competing neighbors in Boca Raton who each spend $1 million each year on Christmas decorations in their subdivision. In fact, one year when times were slow at dad's law firm, we decried the commercialization of Christmas without spending any money at all!
That's because we understood the true meaning of decrying the commercialization of Christmas. It's about giving, and sharing, and spending time with your loved ones being angry about the CGI baby Jesus in the Wii commercial.
The worst part is it starts earlier every year. First it was December, then Thanksgiving, then Labor Day. I wouldn't be surprised if we wake up one year soon and we're decrying the commercialization of Christmas on December 26th, before we've even returned the copy of It's a Wonderful Life we bought to decry the commercialization of the previous Christmas!
So take my advice: this year, step back from your over-scheduled, stressful life, and decry the commercialization of Christmas the old fashioned way. You don't need big corporations to do it for you. Just get together with the people you care about the most, and bitch about it like your parents did...and their parents before them. I bet a year from now you'll look back on this as the best decrying the commercialization of Christmas of all.
—Jonathan Schwarz
Posted at December 24, 2007 08:07 PMJon: Thanks for decrying the commercialization of decrying the commercialization of Christmas. A good thing your blog does not run blogads or I'd be the one decrying your commercialization of decrying the commercialization of decrying the commercialization of Christmas. I'd have to do it for you, for I assume you wouldn't want to decry your own decrying.
Oscar Peterson has died. Damn!
Decrying… kinda lopsided. Please adopt "decrination." Don't listen to the dictionary bigots who claim it's not a word.
Posted by: Ashley at December 24, 2007 09:10 PMDamn those Dictionary Bigots. It's a perfectly cromulent word.
Posted by: David Grenier at December 24, 2007 10:49 PMNow you tell us, on Christmas Eve!
After I spent a million bucks on this!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05L1c_II_wo
Merry Christmas to all, er, I'm wishing you all a Caucasian Holiday.
Posted by: Don Bacon at December 24, 2007 11:03 PMJon sign piece
Posted by: StO at December 25, 2007 02:42 AMAnd God Bless us, every one!
Posted by: Jake at December 26, 2007 02:27 PMOh God, this is painfully unfunny. And not very original either.
Posted by: xyz at December 27, 2007 11:09 AMOh God, this is painfully unfunny. And not very original either.
Mission accomplished!
Posted by: Jonathan Schwarz at December 27, 2007 11:22 AMI have come to hate Christmas time. We are bombarded with more and more and made to feel if we don't spend everything we have we are not good gift givers.
www.pafundi.com
Number of Operations Iraq Freedom and Enduring Freedom casualties as confirmed by U.S. Central Command: 4351
