Lewis Thomas thought that the most interesting scientific question is, why do humans (and other creatures) enjoy music? He passed away some time ago, too bad - he might have enjoyed your theories.

Second note: I don't believe that two air molecules make a sound when they collide. To be science-y for a moment, once you account for the vibrational and rotational modes of the interacting molecules, the collision is elastic. This means that no energy is dissipated as sound/heat.

Of course, I'm a Stutts product. If one of the MIT-educated readers here has an opinion, we should go with that instead.

Hmm. I was concerned someone like you would step in with actual facts. Of course, my theory #4 is "I am often misinformed."

Actually, men find the guitar so appealing because it resembles their genitalia (cf. "wang bar"). Which also explains why women like the tuba.

"Actually, men find the guitar so appealing because it resembles their genitalia (cf. "wang bar")..."
That´s interesting. I have thought always I like my guitars, because they are like women.

Actually, air molecules colliding _cannot_ make a sound, because sound consists of waves moving through the air, waves made up of molecules of nitrogen, oxygen, etc. Single molecules colliding cannot produce a sound, because the collision cannot produce a wave in anything.

Men like guitars because some black dude played one and made it sound cool. Without an army of marketers to tell them that something else was cool after a few years, the liking stuck. :-P

Plus, evolutionarially speaking, it became a species-wide advantage. Women liked guitars liked men who played guitar, which fed into the men who liked guitars.

Spider: "Everything in the universe is... is... is made of one element, which is a note, a single note. Atoms are really vibrations, you know, which are extensions of THE BIG NOTE. Everything's one note. Everything, even the ponies. The note, however, is the ultimate power, but see, the pigs don't know that, the ponies don't know that. Right?"

Monica: "You mean just we know that?"

Spider: "Right!"

Air particles colliding due to random motion make random sound- aka noise. In the ear's most sensitive range the threshold of hearing is just above the ambient noise floor of air at normal temp and pressure.

Richard, you mean that it's inaudible not because of the pitch, but because of the volume?

...or they make noises of different pitches, but even at the pitch easiest for humans to hear, it's still not quite loud enough?

...or something else?

...or they make noises of different pitches, but even at the pitch easiest for humans to hear, it's still not quite loud enough?

That's pretty close to the mark. Noise is a broadband phenomenon- it doesn't really have one defined pitch, it's made up of lots of different sounds fluctuating in frequency and amplitude randomly over time.

It's probably no accident that the the lower threshold of hearing is just above the noise floor- being able to hear all that noise probably wouldn't do anyone any good.

Er, that was me.

"My theory is that, as you'd expect, human beings make a sound when rubbed against the universe. That sound is: music and jokes."

another possibility: that's what makes cries and whispers.

Probably both...

Really, air molecules rubbing together is what makes all sound, audible and not. That's more or less the definition of "sound".

The power spectrum of broadband noise: a fourier transform from the time domain into the time domain.

;)

I used to play guitar a lot. While running your fingers up and down the neck may approximate a kind of masturabatory frenzy, the "soundhole" on acoustic guitars whence the sound emanates (births?) is the feminine part of the guitar, down where you do the "strumming." Of course, with electric guitars the soundhole is replaced by the "pickups."

Dunno. It's Saturday night and my theory is some place near the bottom of my glass.

+++

There IS a theory out there that all musical performance is a kind of sexual display. No, not just really, but also theoretically. Like a peacock showing his feathers. Not just really, but theoretically.

That's a good point, I do play guitar pretty much entirely because I like the sound of my own voice.

My third theory is the same as #1, except much louder.

What excellent jokes result from your being rubbed against the universe!

I'm a guy, but yet I generally like piano-driven music, maybe it's because better songwriters do piano-driven stuff? I dunno.

According to string theory, all matter, energy, and phenomena are vibrations. That it's non-falsifiable places string theory more in the religious realm than the scientific, just like the sound of Robert Johnson's guitar.

There is no such thing as an "air molecule." There are nitrogen atoms, oxygen atoms, CO2 molecules, etc.

In deep meditative states, one can hear the response when human beings bang against the universe: "Dave's not here, man."

The big attraction of the guitar was/is, like the lute of Provencal troubadors, its portability as voice accompaniment. And of course it's a peacock display, just like damn near everything else.

"There is no such thing as an "air molecule."

Tell it to Aristotle, bud. Next thing you know you'll be denying the existence of molecules of earth and fire, not to mention water. Or aether (which I spell with an "a" so as not to confuse the organic chemists into thinking I mean their molecule.)

But I think "air molecule" is common shorthand for nitrogen, oxygen, etc..

"The fact this is almost certainly untrue (see comments) does not undermine my point IN THE SLIGHTEST."

You have a promising career in front of you as President of the United States.

1:44 was me. Not that anyone else would want to claim it--still, someone should take responsibility.

as someone who works in a music venue, i can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that men find the guitar so appealing because playing it makes women much more likely to want to have sex with them.