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"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
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"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
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"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
January 30, 2008
Finally, It's All About Me
By: Bernard Chazelle
John Edwards is gone! Good riddance. I couldn't take his "raw populism" anymore (as the New York Times put it so eloquently). All this focus on the poor, the weak, the oppressed, the victims of discrimination, what a waste of my precious time! You never got it, John, did you? I was not even born in this country but I "get it" better than you ever will. America's entire political system is about... me! Yes, me. What I wear, what I drive, what I eat, what I own, who I get to boss around. I listen to Hillary. She cares about me (and pretty much no one else). I listen to Obama, and I know he'll make sure Wall Street treats me well. The Republicans, they're all here to serve me. Why do they serve me? Because I bought them all! They were all for sale. I got a good deal. Anyone in the upper middle class can buy them. The poor and the lower middle class? I've got news for them. See this trapdoor right there. Going, going, gone...
PS I hear Edwards got a promise from Hillary and Barack that they'll talk about poverty. See what I was telling you. The guy doesn't get it. Just in my mailbox this morning I found a detailed explanation of the Schumer-Clinton tax relief plan for yacht owners and polo horse breeders.
I love that song, you know, the one that goes: "This land was made for me and me."
— Bernard Chazelle
Posted at January 30, 2008 04:22 PMI especially like the last verse of that song:
"In the squares of the city, In the shadow of a steeple;
By the tax relief office, I'd seen your people.
As they stood there hungry, I stood there asking,
Poor people? WTF?"
Thankx Bernard and Hillary. (I train polo horses on occasion)
Posted by: Mike Meyer at January 30, 2008 05:24 PMJonathan Edwards, the fire-and-brimstone, Puritan preacher?
Posted by: at January 30, 2008 06:26 PMEdwards bowing out makes it easier to vote for Republicans.
Posted by: Ted at January 30, 2008 08:39 PMEdwards cared a lot about poor Americans while he built his 28,000 square foot house.
He does not care at all about the poor Iraqis, even if they are still alive.
Posted by: Susan at January 31, 2008 01:38 AMWhatever you think of Edwards, and it's clear the folks here don't think much of him, we should all be worried about the lesson most candidates are going to take from his failure. That's because the media used Edwards to send a message: oppose corporate power, even rhetorically, and we will freeze you out of the campaign coverage, and you can kiss any chance of winning goodbye.
This primary season, the corporate media are flexing their muscles as never before. "We'll narrow the field to an acceptable two, and then let you choose" seems to be the rule now.
Posted by: SteveB at January 31, 2008 08:08 AMAnyone who wants to do something for poor people must betray his class. The founders were at their best when they gave up some class privileges to put protections for the common man in their Constitution. Edwards was no saint, but our country venerates our founders and those guys were far worse creatures than Edwards was on his worst days.
Edwards couldn't beat the media. He understood the problem, but didn't have the skill to beat it, much like Dean. We saw him fuck up by joining Barack and Clinton in their pile-ons. The media just used this to prop up the two further. (Hell, Clinton failed here, too: by acknowledging Obama, she helped to make him a "mainstream" candidate. This is how the Republicans help select opponents, by attacking the ones they dislike so the media gives them free press.)
Edwards was the only viable candidate that could have given us solid healthcare. Oh well. Guess we didn't need to see doctors, anyway.
Posted by: No One of Consequence at January 31, 2008 02:01 PMSteveB - Speaking only for myself, I think a great deal of Edwards. I'm sad now that I won't get to vote for him even in the primary.
Posted by: Aaron Datesman at January 31, 2008 02:04 PMThere is no 'i' in 'me'. I think Edwards forgot that important point.
Posted by: An Outhouse at January 31, 2008 03:42 PMWell played.
Posted by: Batocchio at January 31, 2008 05:13 PMI admired Edwards. He got rich the right way - taking it away from greedy corporations who harmed ordinary people.
I hope we'll see him again in the never-ending struggle against the MICFiC.
Posted by: mistah charley, ph.d. at January 31, 2008 07:26 PMOh Edwards is a slimy weazel who staked out the only turf available to him, the Werkin' Man's Advocate. And btw, his Center for Poverty blahblahbkah? Read the annual report, it's a complete shell, but Edwards talked about it as if he was leading some great effort to address the issue of poverty etc. He's a scummy slimeball, but you fools are gullible enough to fall for his shtick. Surprisingly, the primary voters didn't. Oh another example of his weazel character. "I don't see how anyone can win the nomination if they don't carry Iowa," says the guy who is betting all his chips on a miniscule and deeply flawed vote.
Posted by: xyz at February 1, 2008 09:22 AMxyz: Yeah, and it's a good thing those primary voters didn't fall for Kucinich's or Gravel's shtick either. Now we can look forward to one of two compromised corporate centrists as the Democratic candidate, all because of the penetrating insight of people just like you. Thanks!
Posted by: John Caruso at February 1, 2008 01:46 PM