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"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
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"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
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"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
February 18, 2008
Samwise The Strong
I was incorrect to refer to Samantha "Understand Frodo, I Would Use This Ring From a Desire To Do Good" Power.
Rather, her correct name is obviously Samantha "Samwise the Strong, Heroine Of The Age, Striding With A Flaming Sword Across The Darkened Land" Power.
She felt that he had from now on only two choices: to forbear the Ring, though it would torment her; or to claim it, and challenge the Power that sat in its dark hold beyond the valley of shadows. Already the Ring tempted her, gnawing at her will and reason. Wild fantasies arose in her mind; and she saw Samwise the Strong, Heroine of the Age, striding with a flaming sword across the darkened land, and armies flocking to her call as she marched to the overthrow of ethnic cleansers and genocidaires. And then all the clouds rolled away, and the white sun shone, and at her command the vale of the 21st Century became a garden of flowers and trees and brought forth fruit. She had only to put on the Ring and claim it for her own, and all this could be.
Original here.
—Jonathan Schwarz
Posted at February 18, 2008 07:52 PMWell, I had mixed feelings about the NATO ultimatums that led to intervention in Kosovo, but I certainly believed that having thumbed their noses at NATO, the lives of a few hundred Serbs was an acceptable price to pay for the political integrity and credibility of the guarantor institution of European security. But as it turns out, the Kosovars (well, 90% of em anyway)seem to be happier and better off for it. Not a bad side benefit for the exercise of power. Actually, there are times when genocides and ethnic cleansing are real security issues and need to be addressed with military power. Eh, but usually not, if the natives in some obscure unimportant distant place want to hack each others' limbs off, let 'em go at it, I say.
FN: but i do think Clinton is a war criminal, not for waging the war, but for his decision to bomb from sufficiently high altitudes to avoid Yugo air defenses. NATO would have lost a few pilots but killed about half as many civilians. if you're going to wage war, do it honorably.
Posted by: xyz at February 19, 2008 06:08 AM"Samantha the Powerful", surely?
xyz: you've missed the point. Might tell you about it later.
Posted by: me at February 19, 2008 09:55 AMwell, please, if there is anything resembling a point to this particularly pathetic exercise in jerking-off, I'd love to know it. It seems to be to be another attempt at "cleverness," rather like the idiotic "joke" about George Washington, which is painful to even look at, it's so fucking unfunny.
Posted by: xyz at February 19, 2008 10:12 AMBTW, you guys may like to check out FIRES ON THE PLAIN, one of the best antiwar flicks from Japan, considering its director, Kon Ichikawa, just passed away...few films have captured the trauma and corruptive influence of war as well.
Posted by: En Ming Hee at February 19, 2008 10:28 AMif you're going to wage war, do it honorably.
Posted by xyz at February 19, 2008 06:08 AM
thus speaks terminal naivete, which believes there is ANY "honorable" war.
War is ALWAYS (already, as the marxists would say) a dishonorable enterprise, visiting as it does unnecessary pain, suffering, desolation, and destruction upon the innocent.
No, you're completely wrong. We dropped bombs on Yugos to ensure that NATO maintained its credibility. What's dishonorable about that?
By the way, I once looked up the Serbia traffic stats for those two months, and more Yugos died driving Yugos than from NATO bombing (well, in Serbia ex-Kosovo anyway).
Actually, for all their ridiculous monkey like yapping about yee old Kosovo, I actually like Serbs, a lot.
Posted by: xyz at February 19, 2008 11:28 AMI once looked up statistics on Jewish mortality and found that more Jews have died from other causes over the years than were killed in the Holocaust.
I actually like people, a lot, when they're not yapping about stuff I don't want to hear.
Posted by: weldon berger at February 19, 2008 11:54 AMNo, you're completely wrong. We dropped bombs on Yugos to ensure that NATO maintained its credibility. What's dishonorable about that?
why would nato initiate a bombing campaign against cars to maintain it's 'credibility'?
No, you're completely wrong. We dropped bombs on Yugos to ensure that NATO maintained its credibility. What's dishonorable about that?
why would nato initiate a bombing campaign against cars? that takes out all hopes of it's credibility right there
why would nato initiate a bombing campaign against cars? that takes out all hopes of it's credibility right there
Have you ever ridden in one of them? If there ever was a justified cause to bomb the shit out of something for humanitarian reasons, it was to rid the world of that POS.
Coexistence was appeasement to low quality standards, egregious safety, and offended aesthetics. How could one sleep, just knowing those things were lurking out there, mocking you with their presence?
Posted by: Ted at February 20, 2008 08:23 AMwell, actually Yugoslavia made a claim against NATO for compensation for having bombed the Zastava (Yugo) factory. I've always thought NATO should have billed them for that service.
Posted by: xyz at February 20, 2008 08:54 AMgetting there but I think you are talking about
Sam [wise the strong, Heroine of the Age, Striding with a Flaming Sword and the One Greatest Ring of] Power
Aren't you ?
And admit it, you sometimes wish she would turn invisible. Don't you ?
Posted by: Robert Waldmann at February 21, 2008 08:31 AM