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"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
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"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
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"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
March 30, 2008
I Feel You
From Al-Ahram:
Every once in a while Ibrahim Hawash, 42, calls his wife Noha from his nightshift job to make sure that she has followed the treatment course prescribed by their family doctor for the involuntary urination of their four children, who are in primary school. The doctor says that the four children lost their ability to control urination due to the fear they underwent when Israeli army jets bombed a home near theirs in the Jabalya refugee camp in the northern Gaza Strip during the "Warm Winter" military campaign three weeks ago. The four children still remember the terrifying night when they woke frightened up to the sound of a thundering explosion in the area and found that the glass of their home's windows had fallen onto their bed...Thousands of Palestinian children have experienced what Hawash's four children are undergoing. Mohamed Kharsa, 10, lives in the Tufah neighbourhood northeast of Gaza City, which has been subject to severe Israeli attacks. He runs away to his family home whenever he hears the roar of Israeli planes in the sky.
"Whenever I hear the sound of a plane I feel it has come to bomb me," he told Al-Ahram Weekly. Aish Samour, director of the Psychiatric Hospital in Gaza, says that 30 per cent of Palestinian children under 10 years of age suffer from involuntary urination due to deep-seated fear, and mentions other nervous problems such as nail- biting, nightmares, bodily pains of unknown cause, crying and introversion.
Ever since the 9/11 attacks, my entire body seizes up whenever I hear a plane fly low overhead. Looked at rationally this is ridiculous, since I was a mile away, it happened once, and I didn't even hear the hijacked planes; I assume it actually derives from the Air Force jets that flew over Manhattan for several days afterward, which I certainly did hear. However, when planes fly by my spinal cord is not rational, and immediately informs my brain that WE ARE UNDER ATTACK.
In any case, I can easily imagine that if I were one of these Palestinian children, I'd be wetting my pants too. And certainly the fear of omnipresent Death From Above will be encoded in their molecular structure for a long time even if they move to Athens.
I don't think there's much chance the people of the world can create world peace based on mutual love. However, we might be able to build it based on mutual hatred of the violent idiots who've ruled this planet for the past 6,000 years.
—Jonathan Schwarz
Posted at March 30, 2008 12:54 PM"Peace Through Hatred!" might have some cross-aisle appeal, I think.
Posted by: Aaron Datesman at March 30, 2008 03:37 PMi remember the post 9/11 flyovers as well. awfully creepy. in retrospect, it's quite obvious that scaring the shit out of us was the primary motive.
Posted by: uticas at March 30, 2008 09:48 PMTHERE'S STILL the question of WTC building 7, as far as the Israeli/Palestinian problem perhaps one might concider NOT PAYING THEM TO KILL EACH OTHER. Stop shipping them guns and ammunition.(and of course, keep YOUR bad advice and crappy Road Map to YOURSELF)
Posted by: Mike Meyer at March 30, 2008 10:35 PMInteresting that Joe Scarborough has the same reaction to Rev. Jeremiah Wright as a Palestinian child has to an Israeli warplane.
Posted by: SteveB at March 30, 2008 10:51 PMHatred is too empowering. Despise and ignore. Work around them.
Envision the possible futures that don't contain them, and go there. Be fruitful, and multiply.
But who will save us from the violent smarties?
Posted by: En Ming Hee at March 31, 2008 12:58 AMwell, most Americans are bed wetting cowards. In my law skool, on 9-11 I recall a bunch of chicks crying hysterically because they were afraid the law skool was going to be attacked too. I actually calmly walked over to the Capitol to see what was going on, strolling past the guards right up to the entrance, then deciding to watch from across the street when informed by a screaming staffer that a plane was on the way.
Oh americans get all weepy over that PA flight, the let's roll gay guy and all. How fucking pathetic. A bunch of guys overtake two skinny Arabs armed with box-cutters. Hardly heroic. What could the Arabs have done, scratch the gay guy? America: land of a bunch of pathetic pansies. And based on what my ex-GFs told me, pretty much a land of miserable fucks to boot.
Posted by: xyz at March 31, 2008 06:20 AMxyz, why perhaps mr macho, you would care to show us more examples of your superb bravery rather than hide out in whatever corner of Eastern Europe you appear to be in? Shall we have a cage match sometime, no holds barred?
Posted by: En Ming Hee at March 31, 2008 12:44 PMI also like to rub bunnies on my taint as I inject viagra directly into my testicles. Of course, you stupid americans have no idea of the joys of licking goat ass while being poked by a donkey.
Oh yeah, my new GF has a beautiful hairy ass.