Oh, wow, that totally makes sense. So maybe the climate problem is of alien origin, and it isn't our responsibility at all. That should really please the neocons. Are these aliens documented, by the way, because if not, well, you know.

I like the way you dance around the issue of whether or not there were passengers on that balloon, and what role they played in the development of the AIDS virus.

You make us think you're on our side, then you perpetuate the cover up!

Fuck, Catherine--you're right! Jon and I should've gotten a grant.

The truth about Area 51 is really three separate events that have been put together in the public imagination.

EVENT ONE: Hitler at the end of WWII got a couple of guys to see if they could develop planes that could take off vertically..their runways were pretty much toast. These two were taken by the Americans and continued their work out west for the Allies. The craft SORT of flew, but were unstable..they DID work with a SAUCER SHAPE.

EVENT TWO: The Japanese wanted to load blimps with flammable gas and send them to the north west of the U.S.A on suicide missions. If they could set fire to the forests up there, they figured it would make Dresden look like a candle in the darkness. Some of the pilots were captured. They may or may not have been allowed to fly another craft similar. They might or might not have crashed. Certainly crash test dummies have been crashed deliberately at AREA 51.

EVENT THREE: The Americans wanted to send a high powered mic over Russia for spy purposes. They figured out how to run one on a battery powered system and get it into a kite. A toy maker back east donated parts to help. Dipped the foil he used in plain ol' white glue to make it weather and fire proof...this is what the locals found when the rig blew back and crashed into America. They were SO astonished when they found out the shiney metal wouldn't burn. The guy also used some novelty tape he had laying around that didn't sell. It had various shapes like hearts and clovers on it..the elements wore off a bit of the symbols and folks ever since have burned brain cells trying to figure out what sort of CODE the aliens were communicating in. The tape that is left from the crash is a virtual match for some rolls he had left over the army didn't buy.

THE REAL LEGACY of Area 51 is far worse and more sinister...it's a toxic waste dump. Government dumped really really nasty stuff there for DECADES without telling people what they were handling, without giving proper protection. Widows of guys who served their country there have tried to sue the government for wrongly exposing their loved ones to dangerous chemicals without warning, protection or course of compensation for damages. These guys who worked in good faith for the Army were killed by the stuff they have there.

Now why didn't I think of that?