or Powell's or me• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
•
"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
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"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
November 05, 2008
From The Desk Of Larry Summers
So Obama may bring Larry Summers back as Treasury Secretary:
Many think the Treasury Department secretary is the biggest concern, and the most frequently mentioned names are former Clinton administration Treasury boss Larry Summers and a former deputy of Summers', Timothy Geithner, president of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York.
This seems like a good time to post a humor piece Mike Gerber and I wrote about Larry Summers that appeared in the New Yorker in 1999, back when he became Treasury Secretary. It's about an episode from his past that's almost completely forgotten now, but remains hilariously horrifying.
Here's a thumbnail pop-up of the page. A text-only version's below the fold.
FROM THE DESK OF LARRY SUMMERS
by Michael Gerber and Jonathan Schwarz
The New Yorker
July 12, 1999
"Just between you and me, shouldn't the World Bank be encouraging MORE migration of the dirty industries to the LDCs [Less Developed Countries]?... A given amount of health-impairing pollution should be done in the country with the lowest cost... I think the economic logic behind dumping a load of toxic waste in the lowest-wage country is impeccable and we should face up to that."
-- December, 1991 memo from Larry Summers, then chief economist for the World Bank, as reported in the New York Times
TO: All
FROM: Larry Summers, Secretary of the Treasury
DATE: July 31, 1999
Thanks for your warm welcome last Friday. I must admit that I hate karaoke, but Bob Rubin's version of "Stone Free" is something I'll remember for a long time. ; )
To start the flow, here's a brainstorm I had this morning: just between you and me, shouldn't Treasury be encouraging pharmaceutical companies to test their RISKIEST new products on the people of the Third World? Sure, the domestic prison population is a good half step, especially when the subjects can't read well enough to understand the release form. But even some crank-head who killed his girlfriend over a lottery ticket is going to get out one day, and have some job dealing fro-yo at the mall. Then he'll be pulling down the American minimum wage, money that a Hmong tribesman wouldn't make if he lived to be a thousand. So it would be much more economically efficient to dose Zapatistas and Kashmiri yak herders with Merck's newest anti- baldness/impotence/prostate enlargement cream. Squirt it from cropdusters, or just dump it in the water supply. Frankly, these people's lives are so awful that even horrible side effects would be an improvement. We should face up to that.
TO: All
FROM: Larry Summers
DATE: January 14, 2000
Just between you and me, wouldn't it make more economic sense if companies doing business in Less Developed Countries could BUY their workers' rights? Like, the right to strike? Or to criticize the company? Or to go to the bathroom? Right now these people make so little money that they (or their parents) would be glad to accept a small lump sum, in return for which they would give up their right not to be chained to the machinery. They wouldn't even miss it... The companies would get an orderly workforce legally forbidden from doing anything BUT work, and their employees would get perhaps US$5.00. Both sides benefit! This is what free trade is all about, and we should face up to that!
TO: All
FROM: Larry
DATE: May 20, 2000
Just between you and me, there's only one way we're ever going to colonize the moon: Third World labor. Lots of it. And let's face it, there's going to be an INCREDIBLE rate of mortality, especially if we use that cheap, shoddy material for the spacesuits (see my previous memo, "Cutting Corners in Outer Space"). On the good side, life expectancy in the LDCs is already pitifully low, particularly now that enormous loads of toxic waste have been dumped there. "Listen, Champ, you're going to be dying soon anyway, so why not do it on the moon, with some money in your pocket!" We'd get so many applicants that we'd have to run some kind of lottery, possibly on the Internet. (Al Gore loves this angle.)
Also, I know you just started facing up to this Moon idea, but I just had a brainstorm about what to do with all those extra children in Ireland.
Posted at November 5, 2008 02:19 PMMr Schwarz, you asked the commenters to be polite but my blood is boiling and I will not be responsible for what I write so I will quit NOW.
ps I presume, these are genuine documents!
Posted by: Rupa Shah at November 5, 2008 02:51 PMYes, Summers really did write the quoted memo. It's online somewhere.
Posted by: Jonathan Schwarz at November 5, 2008 03:02 PMI've always wondered why Zapatistas and Kashmiri yak herders were so enviably hirsute. Now I know.
Posted by: Labiche at November 5, 2008 03:12 PMRupa Shah,
You asked about documentS. Only the first one is genuine. The latter were satires written by Mr. Schwarz and Mr. Gerber in response.
Posted by: thwap at November 5, 2008 03:37 PMI'm really glad Obama won, but I alredy hate his fisrt appointment. Rahm Emanuel makes me want to puke. On the other had, since I'm perverse, I actually feel good not being 'in love' with our new president-elect.
Posted by: Vesna at November 5, 2008 03:43 PMSo much for a vacation and "a few days off from thinking about everything horrible I know about the US political system," eh, Jon?
Posted by: darrelplant at November 5, 2008 04:09 PMSummers hates karaoke?!? What a turd.
Posted by: bluestateleftist at November 5, 2008 04:46 PMSome might enjoy the musical version of Summer's inspiring memo here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZG7xONmZz0Q
Back when I subscribed to Multinational Monitor I was always keen to check who'd won their monthly Lawrence Summers award, awarded to the most deserving of which ever economist, mogul or flack had said or done something as idiotic as that memo. Summers claimed later he was being ironic. Or perhaps "ironic".
Posted by: RobWeaver at November 5, 2008 06:40 PMThanks to everyone who enlightened me about the real memo and the other two, a result of creative imagination but very convincing. For me, even one is one too many. And yes, I read the whole memo and as the Brazilian minister said then and many others are saying now, world bank and ( even IMF ) should go out of business.
Mr Summers, I guesss is highly educated but I guess does not know the meaning of scruples! and "callous" must be his second name!! If he does become the secretary of treasury, is he going to say, "The poor do not need money. What they do not have, they will not miss"!!!!
As far as Mr. Rahm Emanuel is concerned, he told one of the Illinois democratic candidates running for congress, he would get no financial support from DNC if he did not give unconditional support to Israel ( support--yes, but unconditional!!).
Posted by: Rupa Shah at November 5, 2008 08:49 PMHm. This just seems like a Realpolitik observation. The Clinton White House recognized political realities (or thought it did) and acted accordingly. The anticipation of the desires of industry was useful then, and now. Notice the qualifier "economically". I'd be interested to read the rest of the memo. Perhaps it will be more damning overall than the selected quote.
Posted by: me at November 6, 2008 10:11 AMSadly, there's a bit too much truth to the first phony letter in your piece, as pharmaceutical companies have been conducting drug tests on India's poor (and disregarding established ethics in the process) for years:
http://www.wired.com/medtech/drugs/news/2005/12/69595
Posted by: NadavT at November 6, 2008 02:51 PMRe the New Yorker page image at
http://www.tinyrevolution.com/mt/archives/002678.html
To fix the bleed-through from the ink on the back side of the page, rescan like this:
Put a sheet of black paper behind the page (on top of it in the copier/scaner). That makes everything behind the paper layer equally dark and the copier/scanner reads a higher contrast image showing you only the front side of the paper -- the article you're trying to scan -- without picking up any contrast from the print on the back.
Don't have a sheet of black paper handy? Open the lid of the copier/scanner and push the button.
Wastes a lot of toner, but makes one perfectly even black sheet.
Save for reuse, forevermore.
Posted by: Hank Roberts at November 9, 2008 01:55 PMRe the New Yorker page image at
http://www.tinyrevolution.com/mt/archives/002678.html
To fix the bleed-through from the ink on the back side of the page, rescan like this:
Put a sheet of black paper behind the page (on top of it in the copier/scaner). That makes everything behind the paper layer equally dark and the copier/scanner reads a higher contrast image showing you only the front side of the paper -- the article you're trying to scan -- without picking up any contrast from the print on the back.
Don't have a sheet of black paper handy? Open the lid of the copier/scanner and push the button.
Wastes a lot of toner, but makes one perfectly even black sheet.
Save for reuse, forevermore.
Posted by: Hank Roberts at November 9, 2008 01:57 PM
