The Funny Economics of Senate Seats

By: Bernard Chazelle

Please name a commodity that you can buy but not sell. That's right, a Senate seat.

Governor Rod Blagojevich, or, rather, to follow MSM court etiquette, Disgraced Governor Rod Blagojevich, forgot the basic trade rule of American democracy. The fool tried to sell Obama's seat on eBay. Now, where were you, Chuck, when Rod needed a crash course in Senate economics?

Charles E. Schumer, you see, is quite the expert. He knows you don't sell a Senate seat. You buy it! He bought his the old-fashioned way. Being from New York meant he got to do his Big Pimpin' on "The Street," rather than on the street, raking in a cool $3.6 mil from bankers, second only to Ketchup Man himself, John Kerry.

Why? Naive souls believe Schumer helps filthy rich bankers get richer. Nope. His job is to keep them from prison by passing laws that legalize gangsterism. The only difference between hedge fund guru John Paulson, who made $3.7 billion last year (no typo), and Bernard Madoff, is that Paulson's bank robberies are lawful (thanks to Schumer and his legislating buddies) but Madoff's are not (at least not yet).

But even Schumer has gone too far. Two men of considerable wisdom are shocked, shocked:

“He [Schumer] is serving the parochial interest of a very small group of financial people, bankers, investment bankers, fund managers, private equity firms, rather than serving the general public.”

This was John C. Bogle speaking. No Marxist-Jihadist he, mind you. He is the founder and former chairman of the Vanguard Group, a mutual fund house so unbelievably rich the janitors who work there are given not 1 but 2 lollipops for Xmas.

The other wise man who has it in for Schumer is the Nerdy Sage of ATR -- me. Rewind to last April and watch him wag one badass mother of an angry finger at Chuck E Cheese:

The senior Democratic senator from New York, the “ultra-liberal” Chuck Schumer, recently killed efforts to raise the tax rate of hedge fund managers to that of his cleaning lady: a nice government handout to overpaid bankers that is worth, annually, half of the Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children. “I am not a populist,” said Schumer, "I am just an asshole!"

OK, I made up that last bit of self-flattery. Schumer is a player. Unlike The Disgraced, he understands the subtle difference between a senator's seat and a senator's soul: the first one you buy; the second one you sell.

— Bernard Chazelle