or Powell's or me• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
•
"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
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"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
December 28, 2008
The Moving Walkway
During my current Vacation in America's Airports, I've heard the phrase "The moving walkway is ending"—always in the same anxiety-producing female voice—over 10,000 times.
I keep hoping that JUST ONCE the moving walkway will be something other than "ending." For instance:
• "The moving walkway is exploding"
• "The moving walkway is in love with you"
• "The moving walkway is heading toward a human abattoir"
• "The moving walkway is ending, like all good things must"
• "The moving walkway is actually only moving in an emotional rather than physical sense"
• "The moving walkway is filled with resentment about being constantly stood upon, you dickhead"
I urge airport administrators to get on this as soon as practicable.
—Jonathan Schwarz
Posted at December 28, 2008 06:10 PMMOVING WALKWAY: COMMAND, WE WILL FOLLOW YOU!*
*("Fuehrer, befiehl, wir folgen.")
Posted by: donescobar at December 28, 2008 07:48 PMI wish they would turn off the recording, video all the people falling down because they didn't notice that "he moving walkway is ending" and post it on the intertubes. All those people falling on top of each other. At an airport! Pretty funny, eh?
Posted by: drip at December 29, 2008 07:52 PMJust back from the International wing at BWI. No announcements and no bodies stacked at the end of the walkway. A pity, really.
Posted by: drip at December 30, 2008 04:42 PMHere's one (shamelessly lifted):
"The moving walkway has been replace by a live fire exercise."
Posted by: Captain Splendid at December 30, 2008 08:38 PMI've always preferred the British version: "Mind the Gap"
Posted by: Taylor Hess at January 2, 2009 02:37 AM
