or Powell's or me• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
•
"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
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"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
March 10, 2009
Nice Friends
Via Glenn Greenwald, here's Hillary Clinton talking about her family's friends:
"I really consider President and Mrs. Mubarak to be friends of my family. So I hope to see him often here in Egypt and in the United States."
Here's a section from The Looming Tower by Lawrence Wright, describing what Mubarak's security services did after Ayman al-Zawahiri attempted to assassinate Mubarak in 1995:
To deal with Zawahiri, Egyptian intelligence agents devised a fiendish plan. They lured a thirteen year-old boy named Ahmed into an apartment with the promise of juice and videos. Ahmed was the son of Mohammed Sharraf, a well-known Egyptian fundamentalist and a senior member of [Zawahiri's organization] al-Jihad. The boy was drugged and sodomized; when he awakened, he was confronted with photographs of the homosexual activity and threatened with the prospect of having them shown to his father. For the child, the consequences of such a disclosure were overwhelming. "It could even be that the father would kill him," a source close to Zawahiri admitted.
After this the Egyptian agents got the first boy to lure in a second, whom they also drugged and raped. Then they got the two to spy on Zawahiri in an attempt to kill him. Then Zawahiri caught the two boys spying. And then he had them both shot.
It would be interesting to know how many of the other Clinton family friends have children kidnapped, drugged and sexually abused. Also, I wonder if the Clintons consider this a plus or minus when deciding whether to be friends with them.
(Of course, the U.S. itself seems to have an obsession with kidnapping people and sticking things up their ass. But as far as I know, we confine these activities to adults.)
—Jonathan Schwarz
Posted at March 10, 2009 12:23 PMI wouldn't be too sure about the 'adults only' part. preverts is preverts, no ifs, ands, or buts.
Posted by: Mike Meyer at March 10, 2009 01:30 PMEgyptian intelligence agents = Mubarak?
(Not that I would ever claim a dictator as a friend)
Its Clinton's job to make mush mouthed pander filled ploclamations, and she's perfect for the job.
Posted by: An Outhouse at March 10, 2009 01:37 PMSo, Bush tortured people, then?
Posted by: a giant slor at March 10, 2009 01:58 PMSo, Bush tortured people, then?
Here's what I wrote:
It would be interesting to know how many of the other Clinton family friends have children kidnapped, drugged and sexually abused.Posted by: Jonathan Schwarz at March 10, 2009 02:56 PMCertainly Bush had people tortured.
no ifs, ands, or butts.
FTFY
Posted by: dan at March 10, 2009 03:49 PMsaurabh: THAT could explain burning the interogation tapes by the CIA. They KNOW that records distruction is a no, no. 95 tapes, got to be something horrible on there that Congress can't see and ignore.
Posted by: Mike Meyer at March 10, 2009 08:23 PMLook at that canadian kid they RAISED TO ADULTHOOD IN GITMO. Tell me "no scars there".
Posted by: Mike Meyer at March 10, 2009 08:27 PM"confine these activities to adults"
wouldn't be so sure about that. per Sy Hersh and others, there's some pics of our brave freedom fighters doing unspeakable things to kids at Abu Ghraib that (surprise!) the Pentagon refused to ever release.
Posted by: ran at March 10, 2009 09:53 PMAnd why would this be inconsistent with Bill Clinton sticking it up the asses of working people?
I suspect that the Clintons have been working for the military-industrial folks from early on. When Hillary worked at Treuhaft, Walker and Burnstein the FBI's COINTELPRO were spying on the Black Panthers and that put the Goldwater girl in a perfect position to peek at their legal representation. Sitting in the middle of the Democrats' legal staff during Watergate gave her a good hand on what they knew, and would have been a perfect spot for opposition research. In short, Hillary has been a conservative playing the part of a liberal while benefiting the most reactionary powers all her life. Why should palling around with Mubarak be such a surprise?
Posted by: Bob In Pacifica at March 11, 2009 09:57 AMI am a little confused. Are you saying that governments should not torture children for political purposes, or are you attacking the Clintons for the standard language of diplomacy with foreign countries that torture?
It seems to me there is a difference.
Posted by: Dave at March 11, 2009 11:37 AMThe George Walker Bush Presidential Library Collection of Kiddie Porn Snuff Flicks. Dick Cheney--Procurator. They did it to advance literature and culture, NOTHING to do with politics.
Posted by: Mike Meyer at March 11, 2009 12:30 PMWell, gosh, it's just business as usual. Happens all the time. Nothing to get excited about. And anyway, Hillary is really the best that we can do. Standard language diplomacy, really. No big deal...
Posted by: AlanSmithee at March 11, 2009 12:44 PMAre you saying that governments should not torture children for political purposes, or are you attacking the Clintons for the standard language of diplomacy with foreign countries that torture?
Both, although I'm not sure calling people like Mubarak "friends of my family" is that standard.
Posted by: Jonathan Schwarz at March 11, 2009 12:47 PMRemember Homeland Security's Child Molester Employee of the Month Collection---Promoted to The Interogation Squad.
Posted by: Mike Meyer at March 11, 2009 01:39 PMI bet Hosni didn't babysit Chelsea.
Posted by: Bob In Pacifica at March 11, 2009 03:57 PMSo what's the point? As Sec of State Clinton should decry every little injustice in the world, and eschew the standard polite language of diplomacy and call every not-so-nice national leader a monster? How about leaders of nations who have committed terrible things in the past? Maybe Clinton should call Merkel "insufficiently unrepentant leader of a country with a blood-stained past"? Or Sarkozy President of the country that tortured and murdered innocent algerians et al et al"? And how about your precious concern for national sovereignty? maybe it's not our, or your, fucking business? And just maybe Egyptian stability is so fragile that the sacrifice of two innocent children is preferable to the alternative. Easy for you in suburban NJ or whereever to make simplistic value judgments.
Posted by: visitor at March 11, 2009 04:24 PMSo what's the point? As Sec of State Clinton should decry every little injustice in the world, and eschew the standard polite language of diplomacy and call every not-so-nice national leader a monster? How about leaders of nations who have committed terrible things in the past? Maybe Clinton should call Merkel "insufficiently unrepentant leader of a country with a blood-stained past"? Or Sarkozy President of the country that tortured and murdered innocent algerians et al et al"? And how about your precious concern for national sovereignty? maybe it's not our, or your, fucking business? And just maybe Egyptian stability is so fragile that the sacrifice of two innocent children is preferable to the alternative. Easy for you in suburban NJ or whereever to make simplistic value judgments.
Posted by: visitor at March 11, 2009 04:24 PMSo what's the point? As Sec of State Clinton should decry every little injustice in the world, and eschew the standard polite language of diplomacy and call every not-so-nice national leader a monster? How about leaders of nations who have committed terrible things in the past? Maybe Clinton should call Merkel "insufficiently unrepentant leader of a country with a blood-stained past"? Or Sarkozy President of the country that tortured and murdered innocent algerians et al et al"? And how about your precious concern for national sovereignty? maybe it's not our, or your, fucking business? And just maybe Egyptian stability is so fragile that the sacrifice of two innocent children is preferable to the alternative. Easy for you in suburban NJ or whereever to make simplistic value judgments.
Posted by: visitor at March 11, 2009 04:25 PMSo what's the point? As Sec of State Clinton should decry every little injustice in the world, and eschew the standard polite language of diplomacy and call every not-so-nice national leader a monster? How about leaders of nations who have committed terrible things in the past? Maybe Clinton should call Merkel "insufficiently unrepentant leader of a country with a blood-stained past"? Or Sarkozy President of the country that tortured and murdered innocent algerians et al et al"? And how about your precious concern for national sovereignty? maybe it's not our, or your, fucking business? And just maybe Egyptian stability is so fragile that the sacrifice of two innocent children is preferable to the alternative. Easy for you in suburban NJ or whereever to make simplistic value judgments.
Posted by: visitor at March 11, 2009 04:28 PMClicking the 'Post' button in a righteous frenzy doesn't make your suib-moronic bullshit rationalizations any more plausible, 'visitor'. Jus' sayin'...
Posted by: AlanSmithee at March 11, 2009 04:33 PMShorter visitor: Sodomizing and killing two boys promotes stability. Plus, rape and murder are better in Egypt than in New Jersey. Also, saying bad things about that is inconsistent with the view that you shouldn't invade other countries and usurp their sovereignty.
I dunno. The conclusions don't seem to follow with seamless and incontrovertible logic. But that's just me. I live in a suburb.
Posted by: scott at March 11, 2009 04:45 PMIt's the amusing friendships of those in power. How many people used to hug Yasser Arafat? And yet he was head of an organization that pushed an old guy in a wheelchair off of a ship.
Posted by: Fritz at March 11, 2009 05:28 PMWhat does PLO stand for? Push Leon Overboard.
Why did they tell Leon he'd never make it as a prizefighter? Couldn't take a shot to the head : )
Yes, cry me a river for those two kids : )
Al-Assad killed 20,000 people in Hama. Al-Gaddafi had seven innnocent nurses and doctors on death row for purely political theatrical reasons. Etc etc etc. Believe me, Arabs don't count life the same weepy, sentimental way you do in the suburbs. Those two kids for a stable Egypt? That's a trade-off I can live with. I find it no more objectionable than the sanctimonious claptrap you people traffic in. You think it's so bad, those kids? Move to Egypt and promote human rights.
Posted by: visitor at March 11, 2009 05:42 PMOoooooooh! 'Visitor' is such a ruff-tuff-creampuff you betcha! Put your teeny-tiny dick back in your pants, little boy.
Posted by: AlanSmithee at March 11, 2009 05:58 PMOh, I have a huge cock, and know how to use it. But that's not really relevent here. What's relevant is I know how shit works, you people don't. Believe me, there is an immense pleasure to be had understanding the world, one you turkeys will likely never experience.
And god, is sanctimonious jerking-off an unpleasant sight. You people remind me of the "Take back NYU" video making the rounds.
Posted by: visitor at March 11, 2009 06:13 PMIt amuses me in itself that of all the sociopathic, demented, racist, crackpot-realist gibberish visitor has spouted here the most hilarious line so far is "there is an immense pleasure to be had understanding the world".
An immense and throbbing pleasure, I'd warrant.
Posted by: RobWeaver at March 11, 2009 06:41 PMVistor: I don't know any Egyptians, or any Iranians, so consequently, I don't care what they think about life or if their world is stable or not. I KNOW WHAT I THINK ABOUT LIFE and I know I DON'T want my TAX DOLLAR paying to sodomize kids. NO matter what ANYBODY thinks or knows or whose kids they might be.
Posted by: Mike Meyer at March 11, 2009 08:24 PM"Arabs don't count life the same way..." Ah, yes, collective punishment recommended for a whole people, coupled with generalizations about their moral qualities. Substitute Jews, blacks, Hispanics, Catholics, Dutchmen, etc. for "arabs" in that sentence and see if it sounds any more reasonable. I guess vistor thinks eliminationist rhetoric makes him sound more virile, or cool, or something. Don't worry, though, visitor - us hand-wringing suburbanites who worry about murder and rape aren't in charge, so these lovely things (which you endorse so completely) will continue to your heart's content. Enjoy!
Posted by: scott at March 12, 2009 09:46 AMSo this Know Nothing dipshit 'visitor' just got lost on the way to Freeperville and decided to pull in here and wiggle his tiny little penis around, is that it? That kind of weenieboy macho-posturing goes over well at AssRocket's place, visitor, but not so much anywhere else.
Posted by: AlanSmithee at March 12, 2009 12:34 PM
