or Powell's or me• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
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"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
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"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
January 08, 2010
Global Warming = War = Global Warming
Charles Davis has written a great article for Carbon Control News:
Under the Kyoto Protocol, which expires in 2012, overseas military activities are generally exempt from regulation...A 2008 report from Oil Change International that estimated the carbon footprint of the Iraq war found it responsible for “at least 141 million metric tons of carbon dioxide equivalent.” Ranked as a country, “it would emit more CO2 each year than 139 of the world’s nations do annually.”
I honestly had no idea wars were completely unregulated in this way (and as the article makes clear, will continue to be even under the best possible international agreements). So we have wars to control the oil that causes global warming, and then global warming will inevitably cause more wars, and then those wars will themselves help cause more global warming. And they told two friends, and they told two friends, and eventually earth was inherited by super-intelligent cockroaches.
Anyway, read it all. I think the best we can hope for is the super-intelligent cockroaches will power their civilization with technology that produces huge amounts of boric acid. Then at least we won't feel like the planet's only morons.
—Jonathan Schwarz
Posted at January 8, 2010 11:04 AMEntropy, man. It's a cocker.
Posted by: Cloud at January 8, 2010 11:52 AMand eventually earth was inherited by super-intelligent cockroaches.
Two responses come to mind.
1) You say that like it's a bad thing.
2) What do you think human beings are?
And a bonus:
3) The mechanisms of control that keep us trapped in the cycle of futility ensure that nothing can be done, because the CIA assassinated JFK.
Posted by: Duncan at January 8, 2010 04:47 PMNot to mention all the depleted uranium, the gift that keeps on giving!
Posted by: Rob Payne at January 8, 2010 05:45 PMA few years ago, the Marines asked the Joint Chiefs for renewable tech for their forward bases in Iraq. They thought it would be a good idea to get rid of all those dangerous oil tanker trucks every week or less to power their troops. They wanted enough to power something like 100 bases. The Joint Chiefs gave them two pilot bases.
There are actually a number of Pentagon people working on reducing the carbon footprint of the military, not necessarily because they are ecofreaks but because they know that renewables onsite could reduce the supply lines and logistical needs of our soldiers, sailors, and air personnel. One thing the USAF is doing is reducing the number of different fuels it currently uses.
A year or so ago, the Pentagon awarded a grant for renewably powering a soldier in the field. It's a small grant but it's a start. I think there might be some strange allies for the treehuggers down the line.
Posted by: gmoke at January 8, 2010 07:36 PMI think this boric acid idea has legs--lots of them.
I have been told by an environmentalist friend that homo sapiens sapiens behaves rather like a bacteria from a big-picture perspective, so don't bad-mouth roaches too glibly.
Duncan
You're funny. Happy New Year!
gsmoke
The Pentagon has so much money that they probably award grants to study how to award their grants. I bet they spend at least a little money on everything.
Posted by: N E at January 8, 2010 08:19 PMYeah, well technically war is illegal...okiedokie.... And if you knew how much oil 'n shit your military wasted even in peace time.. you'd cry tears.. TEARS OF OIL. Yes, some of it is from vehicles that die in the desert, so back to the source.. but I saw plenty of oil go down drains... so drink up little fishies! I know theres a joke about cod liver oil here...
Posted by: tim at January 8, 2010 09:59 PMAn illegal war bound by law to be eco-friendly. The obvious irony aside, it wouldn't feel that right to me if it happened (in some alternate universe, where it actually could). While less emissions is always good, I find the imagery of a spectacled ecologist high fiving generals for butchering the local resistance in an environmentally friendly manner too disturbing. (Military sprays acid instead of bombs to cause less burning buildings! World applauds!)
Posted by: Lurker at January 9, 2010 02:46 AMSo for all our talk about oxymorons (you know, Fox "News") what we really are is carbon morons?
Posted by: OppEd at January 10, 2010 07:55 PM
