• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
•
"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
•
"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
March 01, 2012
The Y Chromsome Is the Scariest Chromosome of All
I guess if I were a more sensitive man, I wouldn't be so surprised by the ongoing right-wing male freakout about women. I just didn't realize how deep and sincere their...emotions...are on this. For instance, I would have assumed that Rush Limbaugh would have either the internal control or people around him who would prevent him from making his latest famous statements:
LIMBAUGH: What does it say about the college co-ed [Sandra] Fluke, who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says she must be paid to have sex? What does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute. She wants to be paid to have sex...
And:
LIMBAUGH: So Miss Fluke, and the rest of you Feminazis, here’s the deal. If we are going to pay for your contraceptives, and thus pay for you to have sex, we want something for it. We want you post the videos online so we can all watch.
When I see things like this, my main concern isn't that it will be harder to get contraception. It's that a lot of powerful people are so weirdly angry that they're going to obliterate human civilization. Here's something that the writer John Ralston Saul said about this:
Hitler's favorite writer [was Arthur Schopenhauer]...Schopenhauer's attraction for Hitler may have been his overwhelming sense that evil was overwhelming the world and that the "root of all evil...is the slavery of the will."...Schopenhauer also detested women, which, in the Saint Jerome—"Women are bags of dung"—tradition, is a sentiment closely related to the uncontrollable feeling that evil is inundating us. It is a little simplistic but not untrue that men who hate women will take out their sexual problems on the world if given a chance.
Whatever you want to say about Obama, it seems unlikely he'll blindly kill us all for this particular reason. Instead he'll coolly examine all the options and kill 45% of us because it will slightly increase Monsanto's profits.
(Thanks to Digby for the Limbaugh quotes.)
—Jon Schwarz
Posted at March 1, 2012 05:39 PMApparently the INSURANCE COMPANIES are now everybody, Catholic Church, Evangelicles, GOP, and R. Limpballs. As far as the videos---are there no porno sites left on the net????
Posted by: Mike Meyer at March 1, 2012 06:55 PMLight of the World, Shine on Me
The same quirky genius whose most heard song is "I don't want to work, I want to bang on the drum all day" also wrote "Love is the Answer", recorded by England Dan and John Ford Coley
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arQYdII7uDc
Name your price
A ticket to paradise
I can't stay here any more
And I've looked high and low
I've been from shore, to shore, to shore
If there's a short cut I'd have found it
But there is no easy way around it
Light of the world, shine on me
Love is the answer
Shine on us all
Set us free
Love is the answer
Who knows why
Someday we all must die
We're all homeless boys and girls
And we are never heard
It's such a lonely, lonely, lonely world
People turn their heads
And walk on by
Tell me is it worth just another try
Light of the world, shine on me
Love is the answer
Shine on us all
Set us free
Love is the answer
Tell me, are we alive
Or just a dying planet
(What are the chances)
Ask the man in your heart
For the answer
And when you feel afraid
(Love one another)
When you've lost your way
(Love one another)
And when you're all alone
(Love one another)
And when you're far from home
(Love one another)
And when you're down and out
(Love one another)
And when your hopes run out
(Love one another)
And when you need a friend
(Love one another)
And when you're near the end
(Love)
(We've got to love)
(We've got to love one another)
Light of the world, shine on me
Love is the answer
Shine on us all
Set us free
Love is the answer
------ words and music by Todd Rundgren
Well, yes, of course, Obama is the lesser evil, let there be no doubt about that. But we know that he views his daughters as prey, to be protected from wolves by predator drones. Plus they should not have access to emergency contraception without their patriarchs' knowledge and consent. And somewhere along the line he acquired the hard-to-break habit of addressing grown women as "Sweetie." But he isn't as bad, or at least as blatant, as Limbaugh, and surely, comrades, you do not wish Bush back?
Plus there's a significant amount of misogyny and sexism among male liberals and leftists generally. But that's okay, because it's supported by evolutionary science, so it's not the same thing as Limbaugh's attitude. Jerome and Schopenhauer were just wicked, but liberal males are driven by their genes, which is totally different.
But that's okay, because it's supported by evolutionary science, so it's not the same thing as Limbaugh's attitude. Jerome and Schopenhauer were just wicked, but liberal males are driven by their genes, which is totally different.
That's what you took away from a post called "The Y Chromosome Is the Scariest Chromosome of All"?
Posted by: Jonathan Schwarz at March 1, 2012 08:30 PM"It is a little simplistic but not untrue that men who hate women will take out their sexual problems on the world if given a chance."
and the inverse as well--is it safe to assume that Rodham is a misandrist--or Condi, for that matter? Imagine the mayhem they'd unleash if in charge...
What is at issue with humanity, then? From whence comes all the heinous, malign behavior, beliefs, etc.? How did Limbaugh, Condi, Forwardlooking, Solanas, etc., get turned around?
PHILOSOPHER
Ach! Such qvestions! I don’t even know how the toaster voiks!*
MODERATOR
Yes, but just consider for a moment: all the problems in the world—-alright: MOST of the problems...many of them?—-may be traced to the male of the species and (as Cockburn identifies it) that ‘fatal appendage’. Or, rather, the male’s castration anxiety (QUITE real, according to Freudian Jacques Lacan). The female is seen as covetous of the schmuck...
INNOCENT BYSTANDER
Who are you calling a schmuck, then?
MODERATOR
…having no schmuck of her own…
CHORUS
Until we consent to wed…then we have a schmuck, termed a ‘husband’...tee hee!...
MODERATOR
...hence, the tradition of solicitous endowing of jewelry for the female—-as if a decoy for the actual goods...which state of affairs all serving to engender an uneasy truce, as it were, in ‘the war between the sexes’—-so called...The upshot of all this psycho-sexual discord being a projection of same, across the landscape—-that is, both domestic and global havoc.
INNOCENT BYSTANDER
OK Mister Smartypants, but how do we resolve this-—and, quickly! Forwardlooking has his finger on the switch as we speak!
CHORUS
Yes—-let’s dispense with the academic ning-nongism and save humanity!
MODERATOR
Fair enough. But, first let us consider the pathology of ‘V.’...
CHORUS
Off topic! Off topic! What has this got to do with Rodham or Condi?
MODERATOR
...a patient of Freud’s, referred to him by a colleague in Vienna...this was just prior to the publication of that seminal work ...Dreams...The patient had a history of sexual perversion with various foods. But, it was determined that the foods he had chosen to displace cathected energy were all prone to spoilage, melting, etc. For example, he was arrested on a bus in the Verflügelnstraße on the eve of the Kaiser’s Beschneidungsfest with a snow cone in his trousers. The magistrate declined to prosecute, recusing himself after a fruit compote bearing a resemblance to female genitalia was discovered by the night Putzfrau assigned to his chambers...
CHORUS
Yay! Off the pigs! You go, girl!
MODERATOR
In the event, Freud recommended aversion therapy, whereby ice cubes would be dropped from a considerable height into the lap of ‘V.’. His orders became muddled by an intermediary, however (what with the considerable clutter on his desk) resulting in the deployment of a block of ice! Fortunately for all, as the object was being hoisted into place, ‘V.’ bolted and the eighty kg object missed him completely, but destroyed instead a...
Continued…
(*W.A.)
Posted by: Dean Taylor at March 1, 2012 08:42 PMHow can we work together to prevent the weirdly angry powerful people from killing us?
Posted by: Cloud at March 1, 2012 09:48 PMHow can we work together to prevent the weirdly angry powerful people from killing us?
You are a beautiful person and I for one appreciate it.
Posted by: Jonathan Schwarz at March 1, 2012 09:58 PMAlso, in my book it's not such an unreasonable position, per se, to not want the State to pay for stuff. ("That which pays for something ends up controlling it" would be the line of thinking.)
But you have to also not want the State to intervene in the markets on behalf of the powerful and against the powerless, with its controlled substance schedules, its patent and copyright laws, its corporate subsidies, et cetera in saecula saeculorum.
Posted by: Cloud at March 1, 2012 09:59 PMTHE INSURANCE INDUSTRY PAYS for "it" not the State nor the "Church". An industry that notoriously cheats customers everyday and ALWAYS has. Its just a matter of getting a little of that OVER PRICED PRODUCT--insurance, back. Its industry regulation, a common function of government, nothing more, nothing less. AS a DEVOUT CHEAPSKATE, its AGAINST MY RELIGION TO PAY CONGRESS the excessive wages they get, but I want to live here so as a matter of the "business" of living in this country, I PAY. Same with the health insurance industry, they want to do business here, THEY PAY. Its related to HEALTH+PAYING.
Posted by: Mike Meyer at March 1, 2012 10:30 PMSentimental Journey...
...or: wait for announcements...
"You are a beautiful person and I for one appreciate it."
Speaking of Fan Appreciation Day, Forwardlooking was "heckled" today, with a speech pre-empted with the comment, "No war with Iran!"
Ever the rhetorician, F. demurred, suggestive of someone wounded by an untoward remark.
“No one has announced a war, young lady..."
As if to imply: What misbegotten impression of me would lead you to conclude that I--I, Don Vito Obama--would entertain thoughts of military adventurism! I am hurt! Hurt--do you hear!--by the suggestion that my behaviour is...is...SUSPECT! [turns aside to stifle errant tear].
He continued:
"But we appreciate your sentiment. You’re jumping the gun a little bit there.”
Aside from the unfortunate trope employing firearms (even his clichés are violence-laden) his disingenuous parry with the protestor is fairly obvious: the newest Mid-East incursion hasn't been announced yet, so why worry? Right? Sit back, relax, wait for announcements. But above all--DO NOTHING! That would include seeking geo-political analysis, scholarship, purposeful reading, etc.
Your co-operation in this, the drawing asunder of most of humanity, is appreciated!
http://is.gd/dlRt3G
The Y Chromosome is this scary because those who have it know subconsciously that at the point of their birth the cunt was the one thing with ultimate power over them, and they are uncomfortable with it. Why do you think vagina dentata exist in so many mythologies?
Posted by: En Ming Hee at March 2, 2012 02:02 AMUhm, no. You might want to drop that smug air of liberal superiority and consider there might be some truth to the conservative objections to this silliness. This is just liberal craziness.
Since when did contraception become an "inalienable" right? I mean ... talk about entitled women here.. expecting people to pay for their hedonism and promiscuity.
Women have the right to do what they want with their bodies.. even if feminism, rampant promiscuity by females and female hypergamy have been a disaster and detrimental for most men, and most likely aren't stable in the long-term. But women shouldn't be expected to be subsidized for that behavior by society, nor should they expect gushing approval and encouragement. Well, perhaps they can expect from the dutiful liberal manginas with their "This is what a feminist looks like" T shirt. These idiots are clinging to delusions about an arc of "progress" and clueless about the destabilizing forces that feminism, female hypergamy, the sexual revolution and hedonism have unleashed on Western society.
Posted by: Anon at March 2, 2012 07:06 AMto Anon at March 2, 2012 07:06 AM - what a beautifully written way to call that law student a slut and a whore -- AND a gold digger, while you're at it. Wouldn't it be great to get together with Rush and a few friends, get that law school c*nt alone in a back room somewhere, and give what she deserves?
Posted by: mistah charley, ph.d. at March 2, 2012 09:36 AMlol, anon. what's curious is there is no uproar over the subsidizing of viagra for all those limp-dick ceos. i mean, think if they're using their bones outside of marriage!!!
Posted by: brian at March 2, 2012 10:11 AMI very much appreciate Rush Limbaugh's contribution to the public discourse on this issue because his naked misogyny makes it clear (in a way that the priestly pieties of some, or the polysyllabic social analyses of others, are designed to obscure) that we're not really talking about freedom of religion, are we? We are talking about the most deeply rooted existential fear that those of us congenitally crippled with only one X chromosome are differentially burdened by. Even Freud could not bear to confront this issue, as Otto Rank pointed out. Freud diagnosed women as having "penis envy", instead of perceiving that men enslave women (a) because they can, and (b) because they fear the fact that women have the power of life (not "life and death", just life) in a way that men never can.
Instead of fear and hate, let's look for the love and wonder that we are also capable of. As an attempt to cleanse the palate, may I suggest a song from the 1969 Steve Miller Band's album Your Saving Grace, Baby's House?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDqGZQzMemY
The piano solo is by Nicky Hopkins.
Posted by: mistah charley, ph.d. at March 2, 2012 10:29 AMThese idiots are clinging to delusions about an arc of "progress" and clueless about the destabilizing forces that feminism, female hypergamy, the sexual revolution and hedonism have unleashed on Western society.
Wow, Anon -- how did someone from the Occidental Quarterly crowd make it over here? Not criticizing, just curious.
Posted by: Jonathan Schwarz at March 2, 2012 10:38 AMContraception leads to fear of a black planet?
Posted by: Happy Jack at March 2, 2012 10:47 AMPithy. Well considered, well written, Mr. Schwarz.
Posted by: mara at March 2, 2012 10:58 AMAnon: Are YOU an insurance salesman or somehow connected to the insurance industry? ITS INSURANCE WHO PAYS not "society". Should YOU be worried about where the INSURANCE COMPANIES will get the money, well just take it off the top of ALL those "payment denied" on cancer patients or life insurance policies. YOU know, little kids that die because of denied treatment over technicalities and FINE PRINT on policies. Simple.
If YOU're worried about some folks getting laid? It takes TWO to tango. That means a MAN and a Woman, cause two Women don't need contraceptives. Spit don't make babies. EQUAL RESPONSIBILITIES---EQUAL INSURANCE.
Posted by: Mike Meyer at March 2, 2012 12:53 PMWestern Civilization sure needs a lot of saving.
What is the Height Of Western Civilization to one person is the very nemesis of it to another. Think of Edward Gibbon's view of Christianity as responsible for the death of Roman virtue.
To a lot of us, the liberal scientific-agnostic-abolitionist-feminist arc IS the important part of that Western tradition.
Posted by: Cloud at March 2, 2012 01:13 PMHey, that Anon is right, feminism IS a destabilizing force. Of course, as someone who is able to have a close and loving relationship with my (female) partner as a result of, you know, being interested in her as a human being and being able to carry out a friendship with her, rather than finding her alien and feeling hopelessly distant from her even while craving her physical form and feeling a steady and growing resentment that my sexual desires must force me to interact with someone who I am completely unable to understand - well, my point is, feminism is great. Destabilize away. Rush Limbaugh's attitude is dying. The more men learn to respect women and see them as equals, the happier they - and we - will be. And the sex is better.
Posted by: saurabh at March 2, 2012 01:16 PMsaurabh: AGREED.
Posted by: Mike Meyer at March 2, 2012 01:45 PMWell said.
Posted by: Cloud at March 2, 2012 02:21 PMsaurabh - where did you get your "this is what a feminist looks like" t-shirt? i want one too
Posted by: mistah 'MICFiC' charley, ph.d. at March 2, 2012 03:06 PMThe problem with the Digbys of the world is that they spend so much of their time obsessing over what the Limbaughs of the world are saying rather than paying attention to things that matter.
John Caruso: AGREED.
Posted by: Mike Meyer at March 3, 2012 01:16 PMBUT then again, Rush apologizes, sooo????
Posted by: Mike Meyer at March 4, 2012 12:10 AMSure, but this is no time to slack off--Ann Coulter might be saying something offensive somewhere right now!
John Caruso: Sure digby harps on limpballs more than seems even close to natural and that gives rushblow more ink than he deserves. BUT he has overstepped his game. He IS an effective propaganda machine against WOMEN'S RIGHTS and decency in general. digby IS a woman so I give her her due, she and ALL the women that spoke out against that crackhead deserve their three cheers---hip, hip, hurrah---hip, hip, hurrah---hip, hip, hurrah.
NOW back to what's destroying the 99%.
Posted by: Mike Meyer at March 4, 2012 03:36 PMJohn Caruso: Sure digby harps on limpballs more than seems even close to natural and that gives rushblow more ink than he deserves. BUT he has overstepped his game. He IS an effective propaganda machine against WOMEN'S RIGHTS and decency in general. digby IS a woman so I give her her due, she and ALL the women that spoke out against that crackhead deserve their three cheers---hip, hip, hurrah---hip, hip, hurrah---hip, hip, hurrah.
NOW back to what's destroying the 99%.
Posted by: Mike Meyer at March 4, 2012 03:43 PM